Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Bragging Alert: Best Parents Ever?

I'm going to take a few minutes out of your day and just brag for a while.

First of all: Lil'Dude has had four straight weeks without a yellow. Pure greens and blues baby, and that's with ADHD. Of course any second now the school will probably call informing me different, but until then I am sopping this UP. He is doing so good with his reading and read a book that has been "too hard" for a while now pretty easily last night. Boom. Shakalaka. Boom.

Second: Lil'Guy is doing better. By better I mean slightly less annoyed with Lil'Miss. He loves playing with her...if he could just forget that he is annoyed with her for taking his baby spot in the family he would do amazing! There is a light at the end of the tunnel though because he WANTS her to play with them. It's like they are all watching each other's backs. It's so cute. Lil'Guy also does great in school's just normal for him so we don't brag on it nearly enough. That's kind of crappy of us, so I'm going to now. He's super smart and a pretty all around awesome kid.

Third: Okay so this is why I decided to write the blog. This is the cherry on top of the cake. Or if you are me, the huge chocolate chunk on top of the mint chocolate chip ice cream covered in chocolate crackle and thin mints. What? I'm hungry. Anyways...Lil'Miss is doing AMAZING and now we have proof. ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) came today. She was in ECI before but in another state. We didn't really see anything concerning to warrant ECI, but decided to have them come anyways.

Well...not only does this child NOT qualify for ECI but she is on the cognitive (only test they decided to do) level of a 4 year old!! She is way ahead in speech and motor skills as well. This kid is super smart. They watched her for maybe 30 minutes and most was just us talking back and forth about how she was doing and them being curious. They were also blown away by her attachment to us and how healthy it is. She doesn't have any concerns there attachment wise (she wouldn't go to them at all until I prompted her to have them help feed the baby). That is such a beautiful thing to us. These are professionals (one worked with CPS prior to her position now) and they were almost speechless. We told them some of the prior concerns and they not only didn't see anything concerning, they went on and on about how ahead she is and how well she speaks.

See? She IS a rock star. Now we have proof.

We are willing to take all the credit too. It's our awesome parenting skillz that got her this far. You are welcome Lil'Miss.


She really is just that smart. I mean for her to come so far in so little time just blows me out of the water. She has probably doubled her speech and I would say it's gotten at least 2 - 3 times easier to just six weeks!


Right now I'm riding high on this cloud I call Parenting Prowess.

If you need me, I'll be putting the finishing touches on my soon-to-be-released "How to be a Better Parent and Only Half as Awesome as Me" book. Due in stores on December 32, 2012.

If this is annoying to you, just remember Triplet Parenting Wins only happen once in a blue moon. It's about as rare as getting a good picture with all three kids smiling. While they are wearing church clothes. But less so.

This weekend is THE CHRISTMAS PARADE!!!!!! You know...THIS one. We have some very special guests coming too to visit this weekend. I'm so excited! I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. (Song in head. Your welcome. I just couldn't end the blog without giving all 3 of my faithful readers a gift from my heart.)

Oh. And Ian Peanut came back three nights ago. They are always SO excited to wake up and see him in another spot. Unfortunately due to lazy parents, he  "came back to the same spot because he loved it so much" on the second night. Oops. Okay so these parenting wins don't last that long....not unlike when that stupid Elf finally does just makes it more special.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast

Last Friday was Lil'Dude's Thanksgiving Feast at his school. It was so fun to go to!

I got "dessert" and was only one of TWO so the pressure was on. I wanted to do something fun for the kids and had a few ideas. I then threw out all those ideas because they were all way too much work so in the midst of finding something easier, I decided on doing cookie sandwiches.

Then I wanted to do something colorful that Lil'Dude could help with, so I turned them into monsters with eyes.

Of course, after that I went to the candy aisle and wanted to add arms and hair.

THEN I found some "candy melts" that I have had forever and decided to add mouths and teeth and fun little spikes.

Halloween-Thanksgiving Monster Cookie Sandwiches

So in the end, these bad boys took probably three times the amount of time all those "other" ideas would have. Whatevs. They really make great Halloween Thanksgiving treats for his class.

What matters most is that everyone was thoroughly impressed...I mean...uh....that the kids loved them. They had a ton of fun picking out "their favorite" monster. "Mine has THREE eyes!" and "Mine has green spikes!"

Plus they thought it was so cool that Lil'Dude helped decorate them. They all went up to him and thanked them for their cookies, which was so cute. But wrong. He just slapped some candy on them, c'mon I should be thanked. Kidding! Kind of.

Before the "feast" began, each kid said what they are thankful for. My little boy says "I'm thankful for my mom." Awwwww. Heart = melted. Then as they were waiting on their turn to get food, Lil'Miss runs up to Lil'Dude and hugs his neck and jumps all around and over him. She kept kissing his head and Lil'Dude was so proud of his sister. Everyone kept asking about her and he had the sweetest look of pride on his face as he told them her name and hugged her back. Adorable!

I had a great giggle about giving the kids cookies topped with sugar topped with candy and then leaving at noon. Then the teacher pulled a fast one and "gave the option" of leaving with your child...except she said it in front of the child. Not exactly easy to get out of that one. This Kindergarten teacher is an evil genius!!

All in all it was a fantastic start to my school party years. It wasn't until I was walking out that I realized my mistake. I should have started out low. What have I done!?! Now the expectation is there and I will have to do something better the next time. You don't lay out all your cards the VERY FIRST YEAR!


I really need these things explained to me.

Next time I'm signing up for rolls.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Welcome Home Lil'Miss!

We made it home!

Okay so we made it home like...three weeks ago? Wow. Time has flown!

We were so blessed to only have a four day ICPC. These things can take weeks, so four days is beyond awesome. We were also blessed to have a home to stay in during our short wait. I am not sure we would have been able to hold it together in a hotel room with three kids five and under. Whew.

So it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride since she has been home. Amazing, tough, emotional, and just all around adjusting. Some days are really wonderful, other days are a little tougher. I was pretty shocked that we have been going through some strong emotions ourselves. It just didn't feel real at first, and that can be tough because your world has literally been turned upside down.

Third full week back and we are in more of a routine. In many ways, things are smoother, easier...and in some ways things are getting tougher.

Lil'Dude is great with Lil'Miss. He loves playing with her and plays with her dolls as he shows her all the things she can do with them. It's quite adorable. He loves tickling her and rubbing her head. It's funny watching her touch her in little ways as he is imitating our touches. He will rub her back, hold her hand, put his hand on her cheek.

Lil'Guy...well Lil'Guy also plays well but with only about 2 years in between them, things are more up and down. He likes her, but he is definitely the one we are seeing the tougher adjustment from, which makes sense as he is the one whose place in the family has changed going from the baby to the middle. I try really hard to do things they can do together, but for the most part I think it just has to work itself out. Luckily Lil'Miss doesn't take it, so you hear her fire right back at him. Sibling love, right? What is sweet is when he forgets to be jealous, he is super protective over her.

Lil'Miss is a freaking rock star. Seriously this kid is just amazing. She is tough, and she is so relaxed. She is very easy going, but at the same time she is still two. She loves opening and closing things, and gets none too happy if she sees a missed opportunity. I have literally snuck in laundry during nap time to hurry it up. She loves her dolls, or pretty much any toy really. She is a girly girl that hates getting dirty but loves throwing rocks in the lake. The best thing of all? This new baby of ours sleeps all through the night! She seems to be attaching really well to us, more and more each day. We are keeping things consistent and quiet and I think that has helped.

Lil'Miss is giggly and smart. She reads people and situations easily. She is speaking so well for her age, and getting better each week. She is getting stronger, gaining weight (2 lbs!) and inches (1.5 inches)! She is a great little climber, and adores swinging. She loves her baby doll, though it's the cheapest ones she likes the most (go figure). She likes bows in her hair and shoes on her feet.

As far as how we are doing as the parents? Well we are getting adjusting, and attaching. I am getting used to being at home during the day, which is an adjustmenty to itself. I go back to work in a few weeks and I must admit I am looking forward to it but also worried how it will effect her. I am trusting God on this one and my instincts. He gave her to us for a reason, and I have to hope that he thinks we might know what we are doing. A little anyways.

Going from two kids to three was tough too. You feel like you are on 110% of the time. I had multiple people warn me how hard it is, I completely brushed it off. Well folks, it's tough. You get over it though after a week or so. Things just start jiving again as you find your new normal.

The biggest, most difficult thing that has happened is dealing with myself. I put some pretty tough expectations on myself. I took her experiences and I guess I expected to become supermom for her. That is not only not realistic, it's emotionally exhausting. I couldn't relax because I was reading in to everything. I was so afraid to screw things up that I forgot to just breathe and be who I am, faults and all. I wanted to give her this version of a mom that not only doesn't exist, but I am just not that person. It backfired big time and made me just want to sit down and cry, or run. It wasn't until I got past that, and realized that what she needs is me...just me. She needs us to live our lives as we normally do, be consistent and fair.

She needs someone who is going to love her even if she does refuse to eat dinner because you made her set her drink down. She needs someone who will make her smile and giggle when she is feeling sad. She doesn't have to have someone who is going to do pinterest projects with her day in and down out. She needs someone who will take her to the park and let her throw rocks in the mud, then quickly wipe off her hands each time.

She needs someone who will get frustrated then come back and apologize when she is feeling stressed. She just needs me to be there.

It wasn't until I finally realized all that, when I finally could enjoy things. I relaxed and, once I relaxed, I could literally feel my heart swelling to make room for one more. It's true that saying....your heart grows with each child. At first it felt like I was forcing my heart to it was so full and there just wasn't enough room. Now it feels like it's bursting and in the best way possible.

So welcome home Lil'Miss. We have been waiting for you and we are pretty darned happy you are finally in your forever home. I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Swinging Smiles

Happy Halloween!


First Family Photo
Note to self: family photos AFTER lunch next time

Placement Day in her gorgeous dress she picked out!
God is full of surprises! (I mean, come on, the last thing I ever thought this next child would look like is strawberry blond haired with blue eyes.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Attachment and Our New Lil'Miss

We were placed with our forever daughter on Sunday!! Lil'Miss is absolutely fantastic. It was crazy as expected. It was a big huge whirlwind and emotions have been hitting hard ever since. I will post as many details as we can in another post, once I get all my craziness together to post. Which will probably be next year. Ha!

 It's so unique since she is older than a newborn. She has been really really good though and very flexible. We have been focusing on attachment for both her and us. Brewerman and my little men left to go back home yesterday and I hated that. Still do. It feels wrong, but I'm glad to spend some much-needed one on one time with my new daughter (!!) so we can get to know each other a little bit.

Of course I'm running on fumes right now, but I thought I would throw some things out for my family and friends who might think we've gone a little missing lately.
- We are an emotional mess right now. I promise we will update and call back most everyone eventually but we all have a pretty powerful adjustment stage to get through. It is going amazing but we still have work to do. We all have a lot to process, her, the boys, and us. Until we do, we are going to really stick together until everyone is secure in their place. I am going through about 1,000,000 differing emotions at the same time, as is she and really all of us. Be patient with us, and please keep the prayers coming.

- We will not be rushing to introduce her to people, family and friends alike. We have to be extremely sensitive to her needs, and I will be gauging this as we go. Right now, things are still too new and raw to throw another dozen people in the mix. While we do introduce her to people, we will keep the groups small. Please don't get offended if we don't reach out right away. This is difficult for us as well, we want to show her to the world and shout from the roof top, but she is our first priority here.

- Well will not be introducing her to very many people the first few weeks, even months. If you do see me out with her at the park or store, ask me before doing anything with her. Keep touch to a minimum and let me take care of most of her needs such as helping her on swings, etc. We will be doing lots of walks and that is a great time to catch up if you want to catch a walk with me.

- I will not be available very much via phone or email. I want to keep distractions to a minimum. Our main 100% focus is attaching with her, and that's through a lot of play. As you can imagine, we are going to be pretty exhausted. :)

- Please leave any and all discipline to Brewerman and I until we say it's okay otherwise. Do not reprimand her, if she is doing something that needs it, please come and get us. Please also don't judge our reactions or how we handle discipline with her. We are working on a different goal here.

- Be careful not to force her to hug, kiss, hold, or say hello to you. If she says no, please respect that as she learns to trust you. She might ignore you, if so, remember to not let your feelings get hurt. Let her be independent, if you want to feel close to her then get on her level and play with her. Attachment at this age is mainly through play so if you want to feel close to her, then play with her! And boy, does she LOVE to play.

When we do introduce her to you, due to attachment purposes, until we say otherwise, we would love it if you would please only let Brewerman and I do the following:
- Any and all feeding or drinking. If she asks you for a drink, please come and get either her dad or I and we will get her what she needs. THIS IS A MUST.
- Diaper changes of any sort. I know, I know, this is a huge sacrifice for some of you. Ha!
- Please keep tight holds or over affection to a minimum. I'm not saying ignore her, but don't hold her for a long time either. If she asks you to or you want, please just put her down after a short hug and if she wants more, redirect her to us. This will be hard, especially for my family, but please know that it won't be forever. We just have to establish our core relationship first, then we can all crazy love on her like we do all of them.

For everyone who is asking what we might need, if you would really like to help, below is a short list of things that we will be needing in the upcoming month or so. Please don't feel like you must do any of these, but if you do feel inclined we would adore:
- Your love and prayers first and foremost. God is all up in this in so SO many ways.
- Your understanding for all the points above.
- Play ideas for a two year old! Projects that we can do, ideas with a how-to attached to them, or even just...maybe drop off everything we would need to do a fun project? That would be amazing. She loves to color and do projects, and we will need ones for just her and ones that we could do with boys to get them all involved in play as well.
- Oh my...meals...snacks...lunches. Even just the items we need to make it with a recipe (I do love to cook but finding the time and energy to put together recipes...ugh...Nat-o-planner will NOT be making herself known for a while). Or even just ideas for easy snacks and recipes and lunches. As we said, our focus is going to be 100% on her and our kids. We are going to be focusing all our time on attachment, but we don't just have her to think about, our boys are going to be going through the same thing as well.
-  Play dates for my boys without us, especially during the weekends for an hour or so, separately and/or together. They are going to be pretty sick of being home and not seeing friends they are so used to being around.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying and thinking about us. We are so happy with her. She is beautiful inside and out. I am not going to lie though, the days ahead of us are sort of daunting to us. It's a tad overwhelming to think about. It isn't always going to be easy, but it can and will not only work out but it is going to be amazing. We know that if we give this everything we have and really really develop the strong attachment early, it will make everything so much easier and sweeter for all of us in the long run.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Just Hours Away from that First Meeting

Today we will meet her.

Can I describe the feelings I am having right now?

Let me set the scene. It's 5am, I am on the couch in our awesome hotel room (shout out to my friends for the recommendation) and I'm trying not to wake anyone. I am holding in tears.

I have woken up four times already with disappointment as I see it's still not morning. This is a good sign. Usually when I'm not able to sleep means things will really happen. Each time I get a good nights sleep, things fall apart. Which is quite funny because I am an awesome sleeper and I think this is only the third time I have not been able to sleep like this because of a potential situation...the other two being each of my boys.

Now, as far as how I am feeling? I am elated, giddy, excited, and so nervous. I want to call it and say that baby girl is my daughter (heart stopping) but there is a guard around my heart from all those "might be's" that weren't. So I am also terrified.

Utterly terrified.

Because I think I already love her.


I do.

Which means I will fall apart if this doesn't work out. I know we need to focus on the positive, hope that if it "was meant to be, it will". But. I want her. Her. I want her giggles and smiles and cries and I want to be the person who is calming her and loving her and lifting her up to do great things.

I.Want. Her.

To admit that is terrifying, because if this doesn't happen (what I admit is a slim chance, but you can never be certain), when everyone asks how I am doing...and I smile and say "Oh it's fine, we know the right child will come our way." They will all know, it's a big fat lie and I am dying a little inside.

So now that we have gotten that out of the way, I can also tell you that I am so hopeful. I am ready to begin the journey. I am ready to meet her and to let her meet us. I am 80% excited and 20% scared out of my mind....with a nice coating of 100% nervous. What if she doesn't like me? What if I talk to loud? What if I scare her? Will my boys be okay? Will they like her? Will we say the right things? What if she hates me?

Most of all....oh man, most of all I just want that baby girl to be in our home, and I want to love her with all of my soul and watch her receive the same love from Brewerman and my beautiful boys. I want to give her everything she would ever need and about 75% of everything she would ever want just as we do the boys. I want to start the work toward becoming a family of five. I want to watch as the boys become just as fiercely protective ovr her as they are of each other.


As long as she doesn't even think about touching the Ninja Turtles.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Packing Up

How do you pack for 5 days - up to 15 days? Then times that for four people?

I better figure it out.

Looks like we are leaving today.

First day of the rest of our lives.

How are we holding up? Well by a thread. Excited, anxious, nervous, scared, elated, terrified, mad, anxious, hopeful, forcing ourselves to remain know...the usual. It's all been a bit of a blur really.

We can't give out details for everyone's sake. This is a pretty unique situation, and due to it, adds another whole layer of stress on.

We still feel like the shoe might drop, so we are sort of reeling it in a little as well as bracing for a fall if it comes. This isn't so much about this situation as it is just from our experience...this is not our first rodeo (shout out - Texas!). Things can change and quickly...

We have to take it day by day, moment by moment. Right now, we are focused on the first task: getting there.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

"Sometimes on the way to a dream.... get lost and find a better one."

One of my favorite quotes, and it is so appropriate for so many areas of our life.

I'm officially sounding out a call for prayers.

I can't and won't go in to a lot of details, but lets just say that we might be making a last minute trip out of state....but we won't be needing any baby bottles, rattles, pacifiers, or infant seats.

Instead, we will be armed with sippy cups, pull-ups, dress up clothes, baby dolls....and my grandpa's rosary.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Confessions of the Newly Approved

I know, I know. Anther darned adoption post.

Well it's on my brain constantly so if YOU are sick of hearing about it, imagine how tired of it I am!! UGH! Seriously a tiny part of myself just wants the baby to get here finally, just so the other part of myself can stop hearing about it.

In related news, I apparently have split personalities.

Anyways, yes this is another post regarding adoption. More like a confessional of some sorts. In a list fashion.(As you can tell, I'm a big list person. Is that annoying? We'll add it to the list.) I just realized today that I have done everything that I tell people who are waiting not to do. So, like a good girl who is going to share all the good and bad with adoption via this here blog....I'm posting them.

I have (ahem):

- Expected a phone call the minute after we were approved. No they didn't have our profiles yet, and, well, no our online profile wasn't activated...but I mean....they could have...I don't know...TOLD them about us?

- Bought my first baby thing....a little sweet Kimono from Gap. It's so soft and white so it can work either way. I am not sure why I think white is a good idea. One nuclear pants-bomb and that kimono is outta here.

- All of a sudden, when you are waiting, time slows. The day drags by...the week slows to a crawl. I don't know why that is....but it is. And it has happened to me.

- Not looked up one thing for our nursery. We are going to wait until baby is here to do it so I can do it gender-NOT neutral (so sick of gender neutral stuff). Okay that's a lie, I have...but not that much. I do need to so I will be ready, but for some reason this exhausts and saddens me. So I don't.

- Not stopped thinking about adoption. Consistently annoyingly persistently annoyingly constantly not stopped.

- Checked out the stats (which show no pertinent information at all) on our online profile 8 times a day. And that's just what I'm admitting to! I have also consistently checked the number of profiles listed under our agency. Which is stupid. But I don't care. I actually told myself the other day I wasn't going to except for once a week, that lasted a day and a half. Which was actually quite impressive to me.

- Turned in our profile and 5 minutes later thought of things that needed to be changed. Last night I had a dream that our social worker hated it and everyone at the agency was making fun of it and laughing at us behind our backs. No lie.

- Posted way too many posts regarding adoption and have been quite annoying to my friends talking about all the what ifs/plans/etc. if I get a baby at this time, at this time, or at this time.

- I got a call from an area code from our agency. Totally expected it to be our social worker. Instead it was a sales call and I hung up on them after a very snippy reply, completely pissed to the core of my being.

- Have been telling myself, quite sternly I might add, that it's going to take 12 months, and for some reason that stubborn person that is my other self is hearing 12 hours.

- Had Has a pretty thick case of the baby brain. Pretty sure I have forgot about 90% of what anyone has said to me.

- My emotional state may or may not be a ticking time bomb at any moment. What would make me irritated before has now turned me into that girl off the Exorcist.

- Compared our profile to every one out there and decided that ours is horrible, awful, no good, and then the next second - absolutely awesome.

- The big, ugly, nasty green giant has reared it's head. I am so jealous of all those people that get matched. Which, again, is stupid, because they have been waiting way longer than I have. However, one of my friends got placed with a baby last week (SO CUTE) and that was amazing. See? I'm not SO bad. It's just the strangers that I get all green and yucky over.

- Told everyone that I meet that we are in the process of adopting. Which means I get asked constantly about it by random strangers I met one time. Yay.

See? I really suck a bag and spit out an orange right?

What does that mean you ask? I don't know, but let's roll with it.
I mean come on, newbie mistakes right? Maybe by writing this I will get it through my thick skull that it's going to be 12 hours months. Hours, MONTHS, HOURS, MONTHS!!!!

I blame my mom. And dad...but let's face it...this is pretty much all on my mom.

It's her genes! I mean, come on, I was born impatient. I have zero resemblance to patience. So this is like physical torture for me.

Forced patience. *shudder*

So to everyone who asks me how the wait is and I sort of blow it off saying it will probably be a while....well this blog is the real truth.

It's only been two weeks. TWO WEEKS and the wait is awful. It's excruciating. I can't plan a single thing, I have no control over it. It's making me crazy. I want it over with. Is it exciting? Well...yes...but it's hard to be excited over the annoyance...and it's hard to be annoyed over the fact that your eyes are crossed just knowing this could last 12 - 18 freaking hours months.

But it's running the first mile of a race...the first part is the hardest?




Disclaimer: I actually am doing okay. I'm not as crazy as this blog makes me sound. Don't believe the crazy person that wrote this. She is a liar. I have really not even thought about the adoption at all. I really don't worry about it because i know that it will come when the time is right and everything will work out fine. I am not even worried at all about what will happen or when. I have just been thankful for being where I am. I also have blond hair, no wrinkles, am a size 6, have a trust fund, am turning 25 this year, and my voice isn't annoying sounding.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Moms - How do You See Yourself?

Scary thought, I know. To tell you the truth, I probably don't want to know half the time how people see me or how I see myself!! But I wonder this sometimes...

How do you see me? How do you see me as a mother?

How do you see yourself? As a mother? How do you see others?

No, this isn't a "Mommy Wars" blog about breast feeding or not. Cloth diapering or not, I don't care. The first two years of your kids' lives is about survival through and through. Who cares if that means you give them a boob or a bottle? You want to launder all your kids poo off? Go ahead! Good for you! We need to stop judging other moms and focus on the more important keeping our kid from taking their diapers off and using their poo to finger paint their rooms into a funk-smelling horror movie.

I think pinterest, blogs, and facebook have upped the already-ridiculous "mommy bar". They can be fabulous places for information, support, ideas, and love from your peeps, if you let it be. It can also be extremely detrimental for some people. It was for me. I mean half the stuff I saw on pinterest and facebook or wherever there were projects were just not possible for me and for my kids. Plus, frankly, my kids didn't really give a darn. Let's be real, two hours of prep, and four hours of clean up, for two minutes of play is not my idea of a good time. It still made me feel like crap every single time though that I wasn't doing half that stuff.

You see, we as parents...okay I'm just going to throw it out there and say it's probably mainly us moms...we moms like to compare ourselves with other moms. It's natural, but with facebook, blogging, and pinterest...well I think we are coming up with this fictional character that is "MOM". But by just looking on social sites, well it's not who we really are, we are only showing you what we want - the good stuff.

For example: I'm not going to tell you that my youngest kid was laying on the floor last month at daycare trying to look up little girl's skirts. I'm not going to tell you that weekend he then lifted MY dress up in the middle of Gap so the whole world could see the saggy crater that is my behind. I'm not going to tell you that I flipped a lid and all but sent the little perve to juvie. Nope. Not going to blog on that.

For everyone without boys here, don't flip a lid like I did. I was since told it was totally normal. Lots of boys go through that stage, and he has not done it since. Don't lock up the little perves yet...turns out it just confirms once again how boys are just weird.
I'm not going to post on the days that I physically had to walk away from my children as they were throwing things in their room and laying down one major hissy fit due to the fact that I would not let them watch Ninja Turtles at 10pm.

I'm not going to post a picture of that less-than-average school project that was done 10 minutes before running out the door because we had all...forgotten.

I'm not posting a picture of all four of us one evening, on the watching TMNT, one playing angry birds, and Brewerman and I staring in to the air as we detox from a crazy day.

I'm not posting a picture of the meal that I gave my kids last night that consisted of pre-made popcorn chicken, ketchup, crackers, and Cheetos.

I'm also not going to post about the fact that it's what Lil'Dude had for lunch today too. No cute cutouts for him.

I'm not going to reblog and tell you that 80% of the meals in mylast meal planning post were not made due to laziness, life, and the fact I had no dishwasher for a week and I am not hand washing all that crap!

I'm not posting about the project that I decided to do with the kids, that ended in my yelling, both boys in time out, broken crayon bits everywhere, and marker in my dog's hair.

I don't use the term "non-organic" for every little item that I eat that is not organic....even though for some strange reason us moms feel a need for it to be a qualifying term for every single piece of food we post about that is, in fact, organic.
You aren't going to see a blog about how at the pool, I told my oldest it was time to leave, he refused and just stared me down. I told him I was leaving anyway with or without him. He continued sitting in the pool staring, daring me with his eyes, so...without acknowledging him at all...I left without him. (Okay, so my friend was right there with him. But he still completely flipped out, very much to my delight.) Alright - so that I'm actually proud of.
I'm not going to post about the birthday presents that were wrapped in christmas paper because I ran out (no I didn't...that's a lie...I forgot to buy wrapping paper) and then wrote "from mom and dad" with a sharpie.

I'm not going to post that I went into my kids room the other night one hour post-bedtime after they had been up five times already, turned on the light, started going off about it being the LAST TIME I WAS COMING IN HERE then realized they had both been asleep and the noise I heard was the dogs.

The internet can give us this crazy perception of what being a mom is and who we are supposed to be. Pinterest can be cool, but don't let it be your standard. Take an idea and do one...per week. ONE. Don't do daily stuff, it's just not going to happen and you are going to feel guilty when you end up giving your kid two grapes and limp celery that probably should have been thrown out and tell him to make faces on his plate for snack time while you have a margarita and envision yourself as being clean. Some weeks you will rock it OUT. You will do more projects and they will end up being a high fives and memories galore. Then some weeks you'll do one single project, you will get one cute picture and it will last 3 minutes, then spend two hours cleaning up the darn thing. But of course, still post that sh*t on facebook.

Even when we suck as parents, we are teaching our kids...yes, even by walking away from them, we are teaching them. I am showing them that sometimes we get angry, and this is what we are supposed to do. Even when I lose my temper (another non-blog-post), I come back and say I'm sorry when I need to. When I am sick of trying so hard and go to the park? Well, they need down time too. Go do a playdate that is really just for mommy to complain to her other mommy friend. Do projects that fail big time, but show them that at least you try new things.

We really need to stop comparing ourselves to this fictional version of MOM. The queen of pinterest and facebook. She doesn't exist. We all rock at some stuff, and extrememly stink at others. We need to just STOP. The mommy war crap is exhausting. Aren't you exhausted? I know I sure am.

Stop holding yourself on a never-going-to-be-reached pedastel. Being a mom is hard enough. We are all great moms, just doing what we think is best. We all rock and we all suck. We are all blessed and we are all exhausted. If you look at another person and think they rock at their life, do what I do, imagine them on the toilet.

 I mean come on, the toilet just brings everyone down to the same playing field.

You might have curled hair, a white shirt, a clean car, and fourteen projects from pinterest that your kids did on your fridge...but for those sweet 3 minutes in my imaginiation...we are the same....because no one looks sexy on the toilet.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Kindergarten, Approved, and K-State...all in a week's work.

So it finally happened.

My oldest child went to big school for his very first day of Kindergarten.

Lil'Dude's First day of Kindergarten

Bringing out the guns

My baby and I

The greatness that is the fake (borderline creepy) smile.

He was SO excited, which helped me. I only teared up one time when we were getting ready to leave. It's just so surreal to me that he is in school. He doesn't seem that old. Man, time really has flown and that makes me equal parts sad and happy since we have been there for all of it. He was definitely ready for the big K, and he didn't have an ounce of scared in him. Pretty sure school sealed the deal for him when he confirmed (for the thousanth time) that he did not have to take a nap anymore.

We were even *gasp* on time. I know. Crazy.

He had a great first day. I am so proud of him!! He stayed on blue (which is good) and the teacher said he is so smart. That afternoon, he bounced out of the school to me and hugged me tight, smiling all the way.

Until the car doors shut.

Then it was like Satan reared his ugly head up and entered our Explorer. When asked about his day he grunted and refused to talk to me. By the time he got home I had to force him out of the car and he told me he was mad at me but when I asked why he just looked away like he couldn't come up with a reason that fast.

Then he started crying and didn't know why he was crying.

Then he laid down on the ground and covered up with a blanket. I asked if he was tired, and he angrily shouted NO and then yanked the covers away from himself and all but growled up at me as I swear little horns started showing from his head.

Luckily after getting opinions from my local Facebook Family, I threw food at him for the next 20 minutes and it was like a miracle descended. He calmed down and by the time Brewerman came home Lil'Dude happily told his tale of school as I looked on in shock since I hadn't heard ANY of that.

Ah well, I guess there is a new "witching" hour in town. It isn't just for newborns anymore.

Oh on other news.....WE ARE APPROVED!!!!!

That's right, woot woot, holla holla, ah-ooga ah-ooga.

We immediately sent out our profiles (which I am already second guessing the darned things), activated our online profiles, and we are LIVE! (It's Saturday night!!! Yay 90's reference!)

Despite not admitting that I'm a tad dissapointed that we already didn't receive a call, I am happy with everything. I have decided NOT to link it to our blog (let's be honest...I don't do filters well so having to apply one to this blog aint gonna happen mmmkay?), but if you would like to see them let me know and I will send you a link directly.

Basically now, all we do is wait.

For 12...long....months.

AND THEN...because this is a three-fer blog.

Last weekend, to start our "thisisgoingtosuckandtakeforeverletsgetourmindoffofit" waiting time, we went to a KState football game with my brother and Dannananner. It was so fun! The kids got the red carpet basically, tailgating, being able to go on the field pre-game and shake the players hands, then be a part of the tunnel as the guys ran out and meet Willie the Wild cat.
Mean Football Faces on the Players Bench

With Stinky Uncle Jakethefake

Just a few bad mamajamas.

My boys and I on the field

It was amazing, the game was a blast. The boys loved the loud music and doing the "first down" chop. Plus there were fireworks at the end timed to some pretty cool music.

And, you know, NBD but we did make the KState Sport Facebook Fan Page.

Because we just exude awesomeness.

Then, the next morning at breakfast we met the KState Basketball team!!
The boys got a picture with Adrian Diaz (who is 7'1")!! They totally freaked when he stood up and wouldn't go near him (poor guy). Lil'Dude whispered to me "Is he a giant?",  then they went back inside and got brave and had regrets, so we had to go BACK out there and take a picture with him. Because I am so lazy I don't want to plug my camera in, you get the half-a$$ picture we took on our phone of me trying to tell the boys to take a picture with him and them refusing to budge as they stand and gawk at him.

These boys are so spoiled!

So back to reality it is for us...but we won't have a lot of downtime since we have soccer for Lil'Dude and Lil'Guy (separate teams) and somehow Brewerman got conned into coaching 3 and 4 year old soccer for Lil'Guy's team (hahahahahaha). It's their first year so it will be interesting to see how they do!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

When Parents Strike Back - Bedtime

As every parent this side of kingdom-come will tell you, bedtime sucks. I mean, yes, you could be more politically correct and say that it can be a challenge and we really have to work creatively as parents to help these little sweet angels get in a calm state of mind.

But that's a freaking lie people. You don't get kids in a calm state of mind. They are never calm. For that matter they are never in one single state of mind for more than two minutes at a time unless they are hard core fake-crying to get their brother in trouble. Oh what is that you say? Your kid falls asleep without your help? He walks up to you, tells you that he is ready for bed and to please come help tuck him in because he is just exhausted?

Pshh. You, my lovely friend, got straight up purely - lucky. I hate to break it to you, but it didn't have a darn thing to do with your awesome bad ace bedtime parenting skills. Sorry. You'll know when you have #2 and they throw a screaming fit every time you whisper the word bed. You start off in that calm state of mind land. You end up 2 hours later with a twitch in your eye and kids who are still not asleep.

Bedtime just sucks. It especially does so now that the boys are sharing a room. Giggles, whispers, random loud THUMPS followed by screaming or, much scarier....silence.

We threaten, we beg, we warn, we offer rewards, it's the same. It's always a fight.

So we have started to get creative....oh no, this isn't a "parenting advice" type blog. We have started getting creative purely for our enjoyment. I mean, we've tried everything and those two little terrors angels aren't sleeping anyway, so might as well provide us a little late night entertainment.

We like to sneak up on the boys when they think we don't hear them. It's quite humorous. We have died laughing from hearing some of the stuff they say when they think we aren't listening. We have also scared the living shit heck out of them a few times when we wait quietly at the door for just the perfect moment to run into their rooms screaming like monsters. Hey, it's fun! Plus as parents, we have to get payback somewhere.

Oh don't worry, much to our horror, it usually backfires on us as they think it's stinking hilarious after they finally wipe the pee out of their pants.

This though...this is my new favorite moment. I'd even go as far as to say it's truly a testament of our parenting awesomness. This happened tonight about 30 minutes after we put them to bed. Brewerman and I are sitting watching TV and we hear the boys, who are in bed asleep giggling like hyenas.

Brewerman sneaks up to their bedroom door that is slightly cracked and quietly listens.

Lil'Dude and Lil'Guy are giggling and bantering back and forth about who is a baby diaper and who is stinky underwear. Then Lil'Dude starts oh-so-elegantly burping which Lil'Guy thinks is just a hoot.

Brewerman waits for just the right break in conversation and lets out a little "fart" noise with his mouth.

Lil'Guy: "Ha ha ha, Lil'Dude, did you just fart?"

Lil'Dude: "No, I burped!"

Lil'Guy: "No, did you just fart and burp??"

Laughter and giggling ensues.

Lil'Dude: "No way man, I just burped, did you fart?"

Lil'Guy: "No!"


Lil'Guy (whispering now): "So Lil'Dude, did you fart?"

Lil'Dude (whispering back): "Shut your eyes!!"

Lil'Guy (still whispering): "Why? Whose at the door? Go check."

Lil'Dude: "No."

Lil'Guy (no longer whispering): "Oh! I'll go check."

Lil'Dude: (Silence)

Lil'Guy proceeds to get up, sees Brewerman's silhouette at the door and runs back in to bed to immediately feign sleeping.

Then Brewerman hears Lil'Guy in a quiet defeated voice: "It's Daddy."

Friday, August 24, 2012

Racist!?! I'm not racist!! My Sister's Black!

I read an article today. I was prepared to get mad and go off on it. I was prepared to yell at how racist society is we just won't admit it.

This is the article:
Article: Does Paul Ryan's Black Girlfriend Matter?

Did you read it? If not, go read it. It's good. I was impressed. It made me think. Hit a little bit home as well.

I get this a lot.

"Oh! My sister's boss' neighbor is black and we love him!"- Random person

Sometimes they are saying that to just want to connect with you. It's like when my husband and I take our one date night a century and we happen to see another transracial family. I usually have to hold myself back from running up to them, showing them a picture of our family, and then giving them a big high five while they try to keep very quiet so as not to scare the crazy lady in front of them.

But sometimes it's said as a way to defense their own racism.

"I'm not racist! My sister's black!!" - 17 year old me

It's pretty humbling to remember but, yup, I used to think this way. I would spout off stereotypes (some that I had actually witnessed, others I had heard about, but stereotypes nonetheless), I would say racist jokes, and I would make assumptions of people based on race. Then I would end it all by using that stupid line that I would convince myself made it all okay. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't as bad as some. But still, the fact that I really thought that I couldn't be racist because I had a black sister is troubling.

You see, for most of us, loving one person of another race isn't going to change that inner-racist in us. Don't get me wrong, it paves the way. It makes you stop and think. It starts at corroding the barrier, but it doesn't completely destroy it. In a person's mind, that person you see them as an individual, not as the racial whole. We think, well I like this person so how could I be hateful of that race. Because you see them as a person. People classify them in their head as different than other people of that race without even realizing it.

Of course, for some reason this is only with the positive experiences. If you have a negative experience with somebody of another race, it seems like we instantly deem them as the speaker of the entire race. Why do we do that? I don't know, but sure does makes you stop and think.

It's dangerous though to start thinking that because you had one person of another race that you love, that cancels out any racist thinking we have. It basically makes us blind to our own personal demons.

The best example I can give of someone loving a person close to them, and still holding racist notions is a question that the social worker asked us during our homestudy. Social workers have started to ask would-be transracial adoptive parents how they would feel about their black/Mexican/Asian/etc. child marrying someone of that race. Seriously. That is a question I have been asked three times. Why? Well I will tell you why because I specifically asked them. Because there are families that adopt transracially and yet when that child grows up and decides to marry someone of their own race, they are horrified and uncomfortable. Racism as its finest. I don't doubt the love they have for their child, but they never really looked further in themselves to be able to identify the racism they still hold. They probably considered themselves non-racist, but in fact they were just non-racist to that one person, not the race as a whole. I don't judge them, it just saddens me. It saddens me that social workers feel it is necessary to let transracial adoptive families know that their "lineage" could now consist of another race entirely, that this could be "news" to someone that adopted out side their race. I am glad, however, so if there is an issue, you know BEFORE adopting transracially.

My sister paved the way for my heart to be open to black children. She is my light in more ways than one, but for this I could never fully thank her enough. My sister lead the way to my family being open, to experiences with another race, to being comfortable with a person of another race / culture.

As I learned the hard way however, she can't take me fully there. I had to really learn some hard truths about myself before I let go of some of the racist thoughts and stereotypes in my head. Was I putting other races down constantly and wearing a pointed white hat?

No, nothing so obvious. It was the little things, the subtle racism that's there in most of us that we don't even realize. It's that subtlety that makes it slippery to hold on to and be able to vanquish. That subtle racism is so easy to justify "It's just a joke!" or "Oh come on, don't be so sensitive." Luckily, I have since grown and matured since my 17 year old self spouted off that line of non-racist stupidity about my sister. I always remember it though. I remember how easy it was to hide behind that, to allow it to blind me of my own racism. I will admit as well that I am still learning. I am still growing.

The next time you feel the need to point out that you have a friend/family member/etc. of another race, ask yourself why you are doing that. Make sure that it isn't because you are really just hiding behind them like I did. Are you using that person as a shield that helps you ignore your personal racism? Is that thought actually racism tied in a pretty pink bow like mine was?

Because, as I have said before, in order to truley vanquish racism...we have to start with ourselves, even if you do have a sister of another race.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Around about Meal Planning Post.

I realized this weekend that I really should have been raised on a farm in the 1900's. Except for that "no air conditioning" thing. And the whole "obey your spouse" thing. Oh and the "no bath" thing.

Okay so really the only thing 1900 farmish about me is my love of cooking...and (here comes the nerd) canning!! I heart it.

I have like 15 cans of jam in my pantry that I made...blueberry, blackberry, and strawberry. I also made vanilla extract out of beans and homemade butter that I churned.

Just kidding. I totally didn't churn butter.


Why did I realize it this weekend!? What oh WHAT did I can!?! Are you DYING of curiosity yet??

Okay so technically I didn't can anything this weekend. But I was GOING to.

I know.


I did buy a humongo can of tomatoes to make my homemade sauce and then can, since my basil plant is rocking my face off. I am a gardening genius. Except for the garden tomatoes. We just won't talk about the damn garden tomatoes. Mainly because they don't exist. Back to canning - when we got home we realized it was tomato paste and not crushed tomatoes. Oops. Since we live 20 minutes away from the Costco that we bought it from (I told you it was a humongo can) I decided to tackle that next weekend. Oh and after research found out it's better to freeze tomato sauce anyway. Boo. No canning needed.

BUT ALAS! Like every project I do, it built up to canning my husband's salsa too. Because it's awesome. Because his other personality is an 80 year old Mexican Grandma (and he won't share his recipe so don't ask, he'll purposely leave something out).
But...not to be outdone this weekend I started cooking for the upcoming week like a madwoman. It's pretty pathetic but I was basically in competition with future self next weekend trying to upstage that futuristic good looking B with her canning skills.

Anywho, it resulted in planning my meals for the next couple of weeks. YAY! Finally, another Meal Planning post. I know, you missed me and have been surviving on crackers and milk since my last. It's okay. I am here to help. Next post I will be posting a recipe for Thai Chicken Laab and Shrimp/Crab/Cucumber Mexican Dip stuff (obviously this is the technical name) that my Mexican Grandmother of a husband makes. It's pretty much amazing.

This week o' meals:
 Sunday (last night) - Skinnytaste Mom's Spanish Chicken and Rice (yum-o and makes a TON, oh and use thighs, way better than breasts)
Sunday (made for lunches) - Chicken Salad for Sandwiches. 4 c chicken (leftover from rotisserie chicken), 3/4 ish c light mayo, 1 t Dijon, 1/4 t Dill (to taste), salt, pepper, 1/3 c Chopped fine celery, 1/4 c Chopped fine Red Onion, 1T fresh parsley chopped fine. Do everything to taste, mix it up, add more, add less, whatev! Yum! (Made for quick dinners): Turkey Burgers  (1 batch Buffalo Turkey Burgers without the blue cheese, and 1 batch Zucchini Turkey Burgers)
Wednesday - Pork Chops with Sweet Pepper Glaze bought at Costco.
Monday - Dinner at friends while husband's go to Rangers game.
Tuesday - Sicilian Rice Ball Casserole (Made Sunday night)
Wednesday - Chicken Enchilada Stuffed Zucchini Boats
Thursday - Leftovers
Friday - Spicy Black Bean Burgers (Doubled, made Sunday, froze in container labeled for easy use whenever we want, had to add more oats though as mine was pretty soft). Or leftovers. Depends on our mood. Probably pizza. But we totally have the burgers if wanted them.
Saturday - Asian Chicken Peanut Noodles One of my favorite faves!!!! Mmmmm.

Next Week:
 Sunday - Smoked Chicken Thighs, Roasted Potatoes, Zucchini and Squash roasted in pan with garlic and onion and olive oil.
Monday - Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps (to be honest I only use her recipe as a guide. I add ginger, Asian Hot Sauce (can't think of name), soy sauce, oyster, hoison sauce, fish sauce, chestnuts, green onion, salt, pepper, let it marinade over night. Serve with whatever you want in lettuce!)
Tuesday - Stuffed Buffalo Chicken Breasts without the blue cheese (we no likey)
Wednesday - Leftovers
Thursday - Chicken Teriyaki with this GREAT teriyaki sauce I bought from Costco. Kinda spicy. Yum. With red peppers, onion, pineapple and rice).
Friday - Out of Town!

In closing - no we have heard diddly on our approval. We have another two weeks until we should though so I am not worrying about it. That's a lie. I'm totally worrying. But I shouldn't be.


My youngest kiddo Lil'Guy ate two Costco hot dogs. TWO. That's a full HALF pound for those that don't know Costco. Plus bun. Yes, we let him eat two. No, we didn't expect him to actually finish the second, we were calling his bluff. He showed us. No, we weren't worried about the hydromonotriglerceglutenidmoes in them. We were too focused on being proud / horrified about the teenage future him. I envision him eating 80% of the time and rolling his eyes the next 20%. Ha! But seriously....


Lil'dude lost his second tooth last night! Tooth fairy came (good thing he woke up and had a nightmare or she would have lots of 'splaining to do). Is it odd that my kid grows his new teeth before his old fall out? He must be seriously vain. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to let go of that dollar all morning (good thing he didn't count his piggy bank, had to go to my kid's bank to break a five dollar bill).


Lil'Dude and I had a mommy-son afternoon date Friday afternoon, just him and me. We went and got ice cream then played at the park where I spun him on a twirly ride, then he so sweetly wanted to spin me. I let him, he wouldn't stop, it got fast, I got dizzy. We had to book it home where the ice cream came back up on me. Seriously? I'm not even 30 and I already can't hang. Who actually throws up from one of those twirly things? Not my kid. Me. Lil'Dude told me that I did it because I was so old, I'm not five anymore. Thanks dude.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I Take it All Back. Kindergarten Sucks!

We had our Kindergarten "Round-Up" (I know, only in Texas) tonight for Lil'Dude.

I learned two things today:

1. I will suck as a working mom compared to stay at home moms.


2. He is not ready. I take it all back. We don't want school to start.

Oh my gosh.

So I know I said that I wanted school to start in this post. Oh and I can not even tell you how over nap time I am at daycare. My kid is over naps, has ADHD, and takes a really long time to fall asleep. Today is two days in a row of nap-time red cards. I'm OVER IT!


He's not ready for...for school. I mean yeah, he can take the lid off of the yogurt by himself, sure. But what if he's still hungry? What if the yogurt is really hard to open? Who will make him eat his veggies? Who will unpack his lunch? What if he's thirsty? How will he know where to put his backpack? You mean I won't be there to hold his hands as he shyly meets a new friend? What if someone is mean to him? Will the teacher make sure he is paying attention every nanosecond?

I mean we did a scavenger hunt and he didn't know what a peace sign was!

C'mon. I mean yeah, Kindergarten SOUNDS awesome. Less daycare, more learning, better qualified teachers.....but to expect them to walk in all by themselves after just one week? No kisses and hugs eight times before you can leave? How will they know where to go? What if they have to go to the bathroom? What if he gets lost? What if he's scared?

I'm not ready.

He's not ready.

Ok maybe he is a little ready.

But I am so not ready for him to be ready!

They tell us he'll be reading by Christmas. I can't see it.

Just like I couldn't see him ever taking those first steps to walk...the first word he spoke...the first time he had cereal all by himself with milk...the first time he wanted to eat the sandwich whole...the first time he swam by himself...the first time he climbed up that "big kids" playground and went down the "big kid" slide...the first time he did the monkey bars all by himself...the first time he walked out the door and got onto that Pre-K bus all by himself...the first time time he tied his shoes....the first time he rode a bike without training wheels....

My baby is growing up. This is a huge step. I know he'll be great. This is good.

I just don't see him as a schooler that puts his backpack away and eats lunch all by himself.

I see him as a little boy that needs hugs and kisses every day before I leave just right or we'll have to start over.

I see him as a toddler running away from me giggling as I warn him not to fall.

I see him as a baby scooting on his butt instead of crawling.

I see him getting placed in my arms for the very first time, all snuggled in his blue blanket...

Yup. Momma's gonna need a mimosa on the first day of Kindergarten.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Profile's done!

Guess who gots there profile approved? We do! We do!

I don't know why my English has to be so bad to make the point but alas, I don't edit these things very much before posting and just sort of roll with it.

Our social worker came back with very few suggested changes which was cool and we got it done and it's officially approved. Of course we have to wait to BE officially approved until we send it to them, but at least that parts done. That is the part that gave me heartburn during orientation. You should have seen some of them profiles. I swear they were just short of pop up books with glitter and a little digital version of ourselves talking Star Wars Style.

I can't decide if I should post it on here or not....I am totally in love with it right now, but give me twelve months and I will most likely hate it's very existence. Plus I don't want people thinking I'm scoping out for potential birth parents by way of my blog. That's not going to happen. Then my children's birth parents have access to this blog forever...then I'd have to switch blogs. Do you know how long it took me to think of that catchy title? No way.

So alas, I still need to think on it. But I will tell you my profile is somewhere between Fergie and Jesus. Oh Brewerman, look what you have done to me!

So except for that, it's been pretty quiet here. By quiet I mean CONSTANT FIGHTING! Between the boys of course, not Brewerman and I, that would be an awkward blog huh? Why is it these boys can't figure out how to just play together? C'mon dudes, you can't be that stressed out. Lil'Guy can't figure out how to tame that mouth and Lil'Dude can't figure out how to tame his fists. It's not like they never get along, they adore each other every minute that they aren't fighting. I know it's inevitable and we did the same growing with those darn bunk beds they have time to plot their evil ways to drive me insane the next day. Of course their giggling is so cute there are some days where I have to hide a smile telling them to GO TO BED.

I do love being a mommy!

OH!! Just in case you think I'm a terrible mom for raising two fighting monsters, guess who wrote their name all by himself!? Lil'Guy! Plus, his name is quite long so he gets extra props, of course so do we since it's obviously a fantastic show of our parenting amazingness. I was going to post it here but the realized I don't use their real names, which is weird since most of you know me anyway, but we'll keep the shroud of mystery on this just in case you are that one reader who still doesn't know where I sleep at night.

Other than that, we are all just getting ready for the first day of school by going on shopping sprees consisting of finding polo shirts only made with material raised by virgin nuns and have a pattern designed by P Diddy and the infamous non-existent 12 x 18 colored construction paper (that was only put on the list to irritate parents and give the teachers a good laugh).

I will leave my faithful readers with two thoughts:

One - it's hot as s&%t here. Ew. Seriously? So gross.

Two - I am getting old because I am loving the Olympics. Go USA! My fave is the gymnastics, I love that little Gabby girl. She's so cute. I wish that I was ever that tiny but sadly I went from infant clothes straight to a woman's size 8. Okay...10...okay just shut up.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

When Your Life Becomes a Sitcom

Well the dreaded homestudy was today! We are past it. Thankfully.

But it's just never that easy is it? Nope, not with two kids, two dogs, plus an extra dog because you are watching your friend's for her (I owe her from this incident in which she starred. Plus she has bff privileges).

It all started well enough. We woke up early and started cleaning, doing laundry, reminding the kids for the 1,097th time that day to put their toys back away and stop making forts out of the couch's cushions.

We wait until the end to get ready so that everyone can look spanking clean and new and shiny. I am ready, Brewerman is putting his shoes on, and the kiddos are buck naked in the living room putting on their fourteenth layer of lotion.

I am about to grab cutie-spaz-o the dog to take to Vanerrellian's house (it doesn't like strangers very well) during the homestudy when...


The doorbell rings.

I look at Brewerman, time stops...I choke out "No."

"No no no no no."

Oh yeah.


Oh S&*$!

Three dogs start going bizerk. Barking like wild violent animals they aren't.

So I run up to the door, Brewerman shoves the kids in to our room to finish getting dressed, whispering sweet-threatenings to hurry it up already.

I am in full panic mode here. I open the door a half inch and let her know it will be just a second when the door gets shoved open by dog #1, #2, and #3 who proceed to pounce out of the house like this social worker is a juicy steak. I start yelling through my clinched teeth at dogs to get back in to the house.

Dog #1 goes back in, dog #2 stares me down and finally comes back in, but dog lovely dog...proceeds to take his time peeing on the bush two feet away from the social worker...still peeing....I wait....calling him ever-the-more preciously back in the house now. Finally he trots back in to the house and I tell her to please give me just one second, slam the door in her face, and hush the three crazy barking dogs by shoving them outside then listening to them scratch and whine at the door.

Then I pick up the lotion containers scattered about the living room, throw the leftover dishes I didn't get to in to the oven, slammed the boy's pajamas in the extra closet, and finally Brewerman whispers to me "You need to let her in!!"

Oh yeah.

Finally I let her in. She is nice, thankfully. But I am way off my game. She asks where we should sit and I stare at her blankly and ask her where she thinks. You know, since she just stepped foot in my house for the first time and has x-ray vision to view all the rooms to make that decision.

Brewerman finally comes up and suggests the dining room (which has a light out in the chandelier...fantastic) and then two bouncing boys come up talking at once. One with a shirt on backward. *Sigh.*

We give her a tour (she opens ALL doors including *EEEK* closets, to which the boy's pajamas fall out and I shove back in with my foot quickly). I open my laundry room door which has piles of laundry I was finishing and planning on putting away BEFORE she got here. All the while the boys are running in and out like I just gave them a jelly bean flavored soda.

I text the lovely dear friend of mine Carebearolyn who graciously offered to pick up my kids after their part of the homestudy and take them to daycare. It was either that (and I quote the social worker) "Or we can have them play in their rooms while we talk." Oh silly silly. Play in their....ha...while we....hahahaha. Yeah they were leaving asap.

She asks them questions, very easy sweet questions like "How do you feel about a new brother and sister?" You know what reaction she got? Nothing. Not a twitch in the face, not a word. Oh I take that back, she did get a shrug. A shrug! Ugh. Ah well, at least they didn't mention needles or closets. Carebearolyn comes and picks them up and silence descends....except the whining dogs at the back door.

So now it was our turn to do the talking. Did I mention I was nervous? And off my game? Yeah....I pretty much blabbed her ear off. Every question turned in to a five minute conversation. How long do you plan on living in the house turned in to future plans to buy a boat and ski trips and how much we love to tube and boat safety.

Finally a couple hours later, we were done. She told us to be ready for a 12 - 18 month wait. I guess the families with kids usually wait the longest as most birth parents want childless couples. That sucked. I mean I "expected" 12 months, but to hear it for sure sucked. I mean, it's not like I expected her to walk in and exclaim "I have the perfect birth mom for you!!!" I swear...I didn't. At all.

Pros? We have two kids that are black, which helps since we are in the ABC program that is specifically for black / biracial babies. We are totally open to visits after the adoption and open adoption. We are young (comparatively).

Cons? We have two kids. That is huge. We aren't open to all situations. Lastly, they have quite a few families right now and they usually show the birthmoms the couples waiting the longest first (unless they specifically ask for something that we would offer).

The nice thing is the "stay at home mom" that I will not be isn't that big of a deal. I guess most expectant moms don't ask about that. Huh, well there's that.

So except for talking way too long about every little thing and spouting some nonsense about gifts and non-gifts and lockets, things went well. And afterward we promptly went to a local dive and drank detoxed.

Then since we were minus-kids...we took a nap. It was fabulous!

Now it will be about 6 weeks for the final approval and then we will be on the books. Then it's sit back and wait 15 friggin months.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Moment You Think "I got this"

We have had some struggles lately with Lil'Dude. I have noticed in the last month or so that he has been a little more hyper...and wiggly. He has had more and more red cards lately, and had a harder and harder time during nap time at daycare. He has been hitting his brother more, becoming a little more aggressive.

Now, there are a lot of things that could contribute. He is growing out of naps, they switched teachers at school, he has been watching a lot of super hero-ish TV, etc. but I know it has a lot to do with him being ready for school and the structure school brings. We are sick of summer here.

I mean - nap time? Let's see....quiet room...ADHD's like filling up a blender full of water and telling it not to spill. We work with him constantly so that's not the case either. We cut off all fighting-like TV including the newly-found-love of Power Rangers.

We have talked to daycare about different things to try during nap (helping the teacher prepare for the day, harder school work to do, making him lay down half the time and up at a table the other half), and things to do during the day. But to be frank? I just want school to start already.

School will help, this kid needs structure. He LOVES to learn. He thrives in school. Plus they "have" to work with him. They know how to deal with kids that have ADHD (even though they never saw one minute of it in Pre-K last year because Lil'Dude only went to school there for 2 hours).

So while part of me is balking at the idea that my little boy will be in Kindergarten and really does want to sit down looking at pictures of him as a baby and sobbing hysterically, wiping away snot from my face and talking incoherently about my baby boy.....

There is a part of me that wants to shove him through the door the minute they open and walk away wiping my hands together with a smug smile on my face. Is that terrible? Probably....but all those who read that and judged me have no idea. The ones that are laughing right now and thinking "YES but I can't believe she actually wrote that out loud!" know...I got you....we are going to be the ones toasting with a mimosa the first day of school versus sobbing on each other's shoulder.

It's not that I don't want to deal with him or expect the school's teacher to do it all. Not at all, I will be very involved and all that jazz. I just am sick of daycare. I'm tired of dealing with teachers who aren't certified. I am sick of feeling like I have to apologize for my kid. I'm REALLY sick of having to wonder if my kid is going to get kicked out from another daycare. I'm ready to get down to the nitty gritty with teachers and make a plan of attack since they can't kick him out. I'm ready to take him to an environment that I know he is not only ready for, but he needs.

So one more month....just one more stinking month of naps and daycare, and red cards. Of course then I'm in the land of IEP appointments, teacher conferences, and school counselors who tell me I'm crazy. Ah well, armed with a diagnosis from my doctor, my newly-found confidence, and a kid that loves to learn?

We got this.

Maybe. Hopefully. Probably.

Okay so we got this-ish.

And hell if we don't got this, well I guess we'll just have to change our definition of "this" until we do.

Oh and YES, tomorrow is our homestudy. We got that too. Maybe. We are a little nervous since we asked Lil'Dude yesterday what happens when he gets in trouble and he replied "We get needles put in our arms." WHAT!? Then he laughed and said "Oh wait...I go to time out or to my room." and we smiled.

That is, until Lil'Guy chimed in (with an evil look on his face) "We don't talk about hiding from daddy."


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Update Scheduled! Added Bonus: The Hiding Incident

Adoption #3 - Step #2: Homestudy Update Scheduled - CHECK!!!

That's right folks - I gots the call!!! The social worker called! The social worker called!

She was super sweet too. Which is great. We are already nervous, we don't want her to be all mean and snarly.

Speaking of which, this is the 3rd time we've been through this, why would we be nervous!? That's pretty ca-razy on our parts. But alas, we are. I can already feel myself want to redo all my closets and kitchen cabinets.....uh oh...

It's scheduled for July 26th. It's in the middle of the day so we will probably just take off work all day. I mean the morning will be spent cleaning (just as every moment between right now and then will be) and the afternoon will probably be spent drinking detoxing.

Oh and then, the most important part, we have to prep the boys.

No no no, not because they could get nervous. This isn't for the boys at all. We need to prep them to figure out what the heck they could possibly say, and maybe mention stuff that might not be appropriate.

Why, you say?

What possibly would we be afraid of?

That brings me to the next part of this lovely blog.

The "Hiding" Incident:

I go to pick up my lovely children from daycare. I usually start with Lil'Guy's class because it's first in my route. Plus trying to corral Lil'Dude while talking to Lil'Guy's teacher is a pain in the a&$ much harder than corralling Lil'Guy while talking to Lil'Dude's teacher. Mainly because Lil'Guy is too busy saying good bye to every living person in the center because he is pants.


Lil'Guy's teacher and I were talking about his day.

She stops and said to me:
Instantly my face drops...heart races...and I get ready... oh yeah...been there, done that....something's coming
"We had an incident in school today."
Quickly check the other kids to see if any are bleeding or have black eyes.

"I think you might need to talk to Lil'Guy about not sharing stories that could be personal."
Oh crap. Uh oh...bedroom antics. Did he hear us? Oh god oh god oh god. What came out of my son's ever-spewing too-smart mouth!?

She then starts recapping what happened:

It all started, like many great stories start, with a day dedicated to learning about birds.

She asked the class if anyone had a story they would like to share about birds.

My darling lovely cuddlebug-of-a-flower-of-a-sweet-pea-on-a-hot-day child specifically raises his fat little cute-as-a-button hand. She calls on him to tell us the story he would like to share. About birds.

"Sometimes, my mommy and Lil'Dude and I hide in her closet from daddy."

I'm sorry...what?

So like an idiot, in shock, I say something like "they aren't allowed in my closet". She then said
"He specifically said from daddy".
It clicks.

(sorry for the cussing and multiple !!! but seriously. WTF!! I mean...come!!)

At this point the teacher looks at me expectantly and I think I have this combined look of a fish face / pissed / confused / and horrified. I am immediately trying to figure out what the hell my hellion  jerk  mouthy  too-big-for-his-britches lovely son is talking about.

A. They really aren't allowed in my closet. Ever.

B. Hiding from daddy? Psh.

C. WTF!!!!!!

Then I remember...we hide in my closet during a tornado (it has the most reinforced walls around it). Brewerman is usually out in the living room watching TV and coming back and forth. Don't ask me why he said we were hiding from him but my only thought is that, since daddy isn't in there with us, they thought it was a game (??).

And, by the way, Lil'Guy was looking WAY too innocent during this whole time to be believable...I can't prove he did it on purpose...

I tell the teacher about the tornado and being in the closet, spewing and stuttering and trying to glare at my kid at the same time. She gives me this dubious look and just sort of mutters something about just talking to him.

Then my filter leaves. Goes bye-bye. My brain shuts down. I want to convince her. I need  to convince her!!

I start rambling.

That's right. Oh crap. Nothing good comes out of me rambling.

"I mean..." awkward slightly-crazed laugh "...I wouldn't be HIDING..." ringing hands, eye twitching "....FROM daddy...I mean" weird giggle/snort "....I mean if that ever happened..." another creepy crazed laugh " can bet your behind that I would not be hiding..." fake cough "...I would be out there with an ax or something."
Yeah Natalie.

Because that made the sweet preschool teacher feel better.

We are supposed to tone down the crazy.

I promptly gave her a weird AH CRAP WHAT DID I JUST SAY smile, started talking way too loud about stupid things I can't remember now, grabbed my loud-mouthed kid, grabbed my other kid (who was a little freaked that I was moving so fast), and got the heck out of dodge.

The teacher told me later that she had the best laugh of her life after that.


And THAT folks is why we must prep our children.

If a story like that came from a topic like BIRDS.....there is no telling what these two can come up with when prompted.

Oh and no, I have not, nor will not, share this blog with my social worker. Oh my, no thanks. If you send it to her then I will be forced to kill you. Or just physically hurt you. Bad. Or just a little. Probably I will just talk bad about you behind your back and give you nasty looks the next time I see you.

But it will hurt.