That's right folks - I gots the call!!! The social worker called! The social worker called!
She was super sweet too. Which is great. We are already nervous, we don't want her to be all mean and snarly.
Speaking of which, this is the 3rd time we've been through this, why would we be nervous!? That's pretty ca-razy on our parts. But alas, we are. I can already feel myself want to redo all my closets and kitchen cabinets.....uh oh...
It's scheduled for July 26th. It's in the middle of the day so we will probably just take off work all day. I mean the morning will be spent cleaning (just as every moment between right now and then will be) and the afternoon will probably be spent
Oh and then, the most important part, we have to prep the boys.
No no no, not because they could get nervous. This isn't for the boys at all. We need to prep them to figure out what the heck they could possibly say, and maybe mention stuff that might not be appropriate.
Why, you say?
What possibly would we be afraid of?
That brings me to the next part of this lovely blog.
______________________________________________________________________________
The "Hiding" Incident:
I go to pick up my lovely children from daycare. I usually start with Lil'Guy's class because it's first in my route. Plus trying to corral Lil'Dude while talking to Lil'Guy's teacher is a
So.
Lil'Guy's teacher and I were talking about his day.
She stops and said to me:
"Yeah....ummmm"Instantly my face drops...heart races...and I get ready... oh yeah...been there, done that....something's coming
"We had an incident in school today."Quickly check the other kids to see if any are bleeding or have black eyes.
"I think you might need to talk to Lil'Guy about not sharing stories that could be personal."Oh crap. Uh oh...bedroom antics. Did he hear us? Oh god oh god oh god. What came out of my son's ever-spewing too-smart mouth!?
She then starts recapping what happened:
It all started, like many great stories start, with a day dedicated to learning about birds.
She asked the class if anyone had a story they would like to share about birds.
My darling lovely cuddlebug-of-a-flower-of-a-sweet-pea-on-a-hot-day child specifically raises his fat little cute-as-a-button hand. She calls on him to tell us the story he would like to share. About birds.
"Sometimes, my mommy and Lil'Dude and I hide in her closet from daddy."
I'm sorry...what?
So like an idiot, in shock, I say something like "they aren't allowed in my closet". She then said
"He specifically said from daddy".It clicks.
W.T.F!!!!!!!!!
(sorry for the cussing and multiple !!! but seriously. WTF!! I mean...come on...wtf.!!)
At this point the teacher looks at me expectantly and I think I have this combined look of a fish face / pissed / confused / and horrified. I am immediately trying to figure out what the hell my
A. They really aren't allowed in my closet. Ever.
B. Hiding from daddy? Psh.
C. WTF!!!!!!
Then I remember...we hide in my closet during a tornado (it has the most reinforced walls around it). Brewerman is usually out in the living room watching TV and coming back and forth. Don't ask me why he said we were hiding from him but my only thought is that, since daddy isn't in there with us, they thought it was a game (??).
And, by the way, Lil'Guy was looking WAY too innocent during this whole time to be believable...I can't prove he did it on purpose...
I tell the teacher about the tornado and being in the closet, spewing and stuttering and trying to glare at my kid at the same time. She gives me this dubious look and just sort of mutters something about just talking to him.
Then my filter leaves. Goes bye-bye. My brain shuts down. I want to convince her. I need to convince her!!
I start rambling.
That's right. Oh crap. Nothing good comes out of me rambling.
"I mean..." awkward slightly-crazed laugh "...I wouldn't be HIDING..." ringing hands, eye twitching "....FROM daddy...I mean" weird giggle/snort "....I mean if that ever happened..." another creepy crazed laugh "...you can bet your behind that I would not be hiding..." fake cough "...I would be out there with an ax or something."Yeah Natalie.
Because that made the sweet preschool teacher feel better.
We are supposed to tone down the crazy.
I promptly gave her a weird AH CRAP WHAT DID I JUST SAY smile, started talking way too loud about stupid things I can't remember now, grabbed my loud-mouthed kid, grabbed my other kid (who was a little freaked that I was moving so fast), and got the heck out of dodge.
The teacher told me later that she had the best laugh of her life after that.
______________________________________________________________________________
And THAT folks is why we must prep our children.
If a story like that came from a topic like BIRDS.....there is no telling what these two can come up with when prompted.
Oh and no, I have not, nor will not, share this blog with my social worker. Oh my, no thanks. If you send it to her then I will be forced to kill you. Or just physically hurt you. Bad. Or just a little. Probably I will just talk bad about you behind your back and give you nasty looks the next time I see you.
But it will hurt.
I look so forward to reading your Blog! You make me laugh and say exactly how so many of us feel at times we wouldn't say it outloud! Can't wait to continue to cheer you on with Adoption #3! You are an Awesome Mom and Person! You will pass with flying colors with the social worker. She will love you all!! Hugs to you friend, Tracey
ReplyDeleteYou rocked that one girlie! :) LOVE all of your blogs but this one hit HOME! lol
ReplyDeleteI won't even BEGIN to go there about when we did an update when ours was about 1.5 yrs and asking for her bottle in complete sentences! After the SW scolded us about her still being on a bottle, our little diva decides to EXPLAIN it to the SW! Yes, at 1.5 yrs of age.....but really she IS just a baby and NEEDS that bottle Miss Lady with a magnifying glass.... Keep rockin' it honey! Donna