Super hero Cake

Is that a plane?

A bird?

Nope!

It's a Superhero cake!!

Two little superheros were celebrating their birthdays and my friend asked me to make this which, how could I say no!? As a mom to two boys there are some things that are just more fun than having girls. A superhero birthday is one of them.

It was a lot of fun to make, and she pretty much let me have free rein with this one. The challenge on this was that it was for two kid's birthdays which can bring some design challenges, which is why I wanted the two guys on top. More work, but bigger impact too. She didn't want something superhero-specific such as Batman / Iron Man / etc, which was also a challenge but added to the fun also.

 Plus! They got to meet Iron Man and Bat Man! Lil'Dude was in heaven, asking Iron Man how he flies and following Bat Man around until he could take a picture with him. So cute! And no, I don't let my kid run around without shoes but there was a bounce house, and it was way too much work to have them keep taking them off and putting them on so all the kids ran bare foot. Plus...it's just way more fun that way.

I'm amazing.

This is just a short post to let you all have another reason why I'm amazing. I know, I know, the list is already long enough, but I can't help myself!

I have officially sent in our adoption application and it only took 2.5 weeks. Oh yeah baby. And that includes all the stacks of paperwork to fill out and information to gather, documents to copy, and physicals to include. We had to get it in by April 15 to use 2009 tax information for the fee thereby saving us a few bucks.

They told us we'd be lucky to have it in by then. Well. We laugh in the face of April 15. We take your months and give you 2.5 weeks.

Boom baby.

Boom.

Of course this in no way secures us a child or reduces a fee and our journey to adopt isn't a competition.

But if it was, we'd totally be dominating.

Positive Adoption Language

Okay so I know I wrote this post about negative adoption language, but I wanted to write something about positive adoption language. Instead of a post about what NOT to say, a post about what TO say.

You see, most people who don't have any strong personal connections to adoption (and some that do) don't really know or realize how negative some of the terms associated with adoption nowadays are. It's all about being aware of how you speak, what you say, and how the words we say can really effect our children.

It's not, however, about being perfect, and being afraid to say anything at all. At the end of the day I do realize that my friends and family love my children, love us, and mean well, negative adoption language or not. We know that people just don't know the right language, and being brought up using certain phrases...well it sticks with us. The only thing we can ask is that you try and read this post and simply be aware of how you speak. If I ever correct you on terms it's out of love for you and my kids, and by the time they are older we hope it will be second nature to you, as it is to us. It's about showing my kids that we love them, and that means we can make hard changes for them.

I feel a deep responsibility, for my kids, to try to educate the world as much as I can. That means starting with my world first, which is you! My hope is that by the time they are adults some of these words, thoughts, and misconceptions about adoption will be eliminated. We are on our way. Adoption is not a secret negative thing that people try to hide any more. Well, most adoptions anyway.

With that being said here are some of the positive adoption phrases and language:

Instead of: "Real Parents" say "Birth Parents"

---For Example: Do they still see their real parents? 

Negative connotation: We are not their real parents. We are their fake parents.

Instead of: "Natural Parent" say "Biological Parents"

---For Example: Do they still see their natural parents? 

Negative connotation: We are not natural. Our family is unnatural. While true in a very base form of the word, at the end of the day God made our family. Who can argue with Him?

Instead of: "Illegitimate" say "Born to Unmarried Parents" 

---For Example: They are illegitimate kids.

Negative connotation: For real? We don't really have to say anything here right? I'll just say that I'll pretty much smack you and walk away not taking the time to educated you here. Unless you are 105 years old and you are slightly confused anyways. Then I'll just laugh and walk away. But pretty sure if you are 105 you wouldn't be reading this blog. If you are, you rock.

Instead of: "Put up for Adoption" say "Placed for adoption"

---For Example: My friend Natalie has two kids that were put up for adoption also. 

Negative connotation /  History Lesson: This term was founded back when orphans used to be gathered and brought around the country in a train and literally put up on a block for people to choose to adopt (most of the time for more help on their farm, etc. The last stop on the train was actually Fort Worth back in the day and Gladney Adoption Agency was started because Edna used to take all the kids left and find homes for them. Cool right? But obviously not applicable now.

Instead of: "Give up or Give Away" say "Placed or Terminate Parental Rights"

---For Example: So why did their parents give them up?

Negative connotation: Kids are possessions or items that they can be given away freely. The birth parents placed them with parents they painstakingly chose because they trust us to give them a better life. 

Instead of: "to Keep" say "to Parent"

---For Example: Did their parents decided to keep them? 

Negative connotation: Again, kids are possessions or items. Kids are not items to keep or give away. You either place or parent.

Instead of: "Adoptive Parent" say "Parent" OR
Instead of: "Adoptive Child" say "Child"

---For Example: Natalie is an adoptive parent? OR Susie is my adopted child.

Negative connotation: Being an adoptive parent or child isn't them same or as good as a biological parent / child. They are not less mine / I theirs because we adopted them. Unless you are specifically talking about adoption, or mention it because you are defining them for a reason (say talking to someone else who has adopted or what not). Otherwise, as an everyday phrase, adoption is not an adjective, it's an act that happened to them in the past, it doesn't define them or us. 

Instead of: "Unwanted Child or doesn't want" say "Child placed for adoption"

---For Example: Their real parents just didn't want them? 

Negative connotation: Their birth parents placed because they do not want them. Most of the times, that couldn't be farther from the truth. They wanted them and always will, they just wanted more for them than they thought they could have given.

Instead of: "is adopted" say "was adopted"

---For Example: Susie three and she is adopted.

Negative connotation: They are defined by their adoption. Again, adoption is an act that happened when we finalized our adoptions. It's a past action, not an adjective. They are not any more or less because of their adoptions.

Instead of: "real brothers" say "biological brothers"

---For Example: Are they real brothers?

Negative connotation: They are not real brothers, but fake brothers. I understand most of the time someone is asking or talking about biologically. But as a child of adoption, that doesn't always come across and can sting.

I hope this helps you! I really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but again I also want to educate people. If nothing else because for most of us we haven't ever thought about how are words can be interpreted. I know I didn't!

My little Rocker Man

Have I ever told you guys Lil'Guy's favorite song? Master of Puppets by Metalica. Next favorite? Cold by Static  X. Next Favorite? Baby by Justin Beiber. Eh hem. Anyways, except for that crazy last guy my little man is a hard core rocker.

I'd say that he likes it because his daddy does but he has sung Master of Puppet since he was 1.5 years old. It's so cute to hear him sing it, especially when he has his paper guitar in his hand and he's stomping around headbanging. Hilarious! I have a video somewhere if only I could figure out how to post it. Eh. Whatevs.

Oh and you say you want to join in with him? Sing along? Maybe start a band? No way Jose. Not cool. He will stop and immediately grunt "UH UH" at you. Then walk away, actually throw his guitar down then stomp away. This is obviously a one man band.

What a diva.

*Insert Imaginary Photo of said rocker man here. I tried to get a pic of Mr.Stubborn but he decided that he wasn't "doing" photo ops today. So I'm inserting a picture of him doing his next favorite thing...eatting.*

Needless to say he makes his daddy proud, and gives his momma a headache already making me listen to their music. And it has to be loud or else Mr.Hardcore screams "I can't heeeear it!". *Sigh* How exactly I became a mom to a teenager in almost 3 years I'll never know.

But I blame his father.

Great Wolf....or Birthday Party??

So I was talking with a friend of mine who said that instead of birthday parties, their kids want to go to Great Wolf Lodge. They also said they had a ball and the kids loved it.

Well I've been dying to bring the kids there. Not only do the boys adore swimming (they can swim already too!)  but they love waterparks / theme parks in general. So I know they are going to love it.

The only negative will be that Lil'Guy thinks he is 5 years old and will not see any reason at all why he can't go on every single ride there is. I think Lil'Dude is actually already 42" tall so that won't be an issue for him...but again that will make it worse for Lil'Guy.

I know this because that is what happened at Legoland this summer. I went with Lil'Dude on a ride that Lil'Guy wasn't old enough for and every time we twirled around to see him and wave we got met with one heck of an evil eye. He was not happy.

Of course by the time we got to the roller coaster they both could ride all was forgotten and he was squealing and giggling while all other small tots were screaming in terror. *Sigh* I'm so screwed aren't I?

I'm pretty sure Great Wolf Lodge would be a hit. But...that would mean forgoing a birthday party for our little man and instead do a small cake and small celebration with whoever would like to go with us if anyone does. They would actually cost us about the same in the long run since I...eh hem...don't really know how "not" to go overboard with parties.

And by that I mean paying for our room and a cake, not paying for everyone else's way. C'mon now. I aint made of mad money over here. And I love my friends but not that much. Maybe if I'd win the lottery.

Nope. Momma would buy herself and Brewerman a vacation to Ireland. And her a new wardrobe. Anything else I'm sure Brewerman would spend on brewing supplies and Q-tips.

Poor friends o'mine. Hey! I'd provide the cake.

Of course, when I asked Lil'Guy, he chose Great Wolf but he's also been wanting to have a "football" party for a while now so I can't decide which.

So I need opinions!! What do you think? Is it worth it to give up a birthday party? What are your thoughts? Have you been there? Is it worth it? Please comment and give me opinions.

Happy Birthday Brewerman!

It's Brewerman's birthday today!!

To celebrate you will NEVER guess what he is doing.....brewing beer!! Ha ha!

We already ate our weight in donuts, yum! The boys and I made him a Red Velvet cake last night with the most amazing cream cheese icing that tastes like cheesecake. Mmmmmmmm! The boys decorated it and I wrote on it (okay and I iced it too). It was so fun and they loved it. They shaped fondant to make their version of daddy's favorite things: Green Bean, Mario Hat, Yoshi on the side of the cake, beer bottle, heart, and a green snake.

Gorgeous cake made by two gorgeous guys....a lot of love put into it. :)

Happy Birthday Baby! We love you very much!

We Got Another Thing Brewing

No no, it's not more beer or wine so just hold your horses.

It is however 'fermenting' . Well okay so by 'fermenting' I mean we have just started talking about it. Okay so that was lame, but cute right? No?

So we are thinking about starting another adoption. We have always known we want three kids. Well technically I want four kids but Brewerman wants to stick with three. I figure we'll see how life turns out and if we end up with five I will laugh hysterically.

Anyways, we were all content and happy to wait until Lil'Dude went to Kindergarten. We figured we will just enjoy the boys and hopefully it will help with daycare costs if he's in school and what not. I didn't even have a touch of baby fever. Or Beiber fever. I kinda hate that guy.

Basically the point is we are very happy and very content with the two kids we have. I love these guys and yes they do keep me very busy. Then we had a situation come up out of the blue. We knew it was a long shot and honestly we have had quite a few of these come up since Christopher and they never pan out.

But this was different because immediately after it didn't happen, I got hit with a major dose of baby fever. Major. 200 mg shot to the heart.

You're too late...you give love a bad name. *bad name*

But I'm scared of having another child. Terrified. Mainly it is financials. We aren't poor, but we aren't rich. With daycare costs for a third, are we going to be strapped? Will we take away from the boys? What if things "come up" like they always do. I know we can pay them but is it worth it if we have to take from the "fun stuff" like vacations, family outings, etc?

Are we selfish for even thinking of adopting a child and not being able to give them what some other families can like yearly trips to Disney, the best and newest clothes, etc. Doesn't a birthmom deserve to have a family that can do all that? Are they going to be disappointed in us that we can't? Again, our kids won't need for anything but sometimes I wonder...do we do enough? And yes, I feel like I hold us to a higher standard because our kids are adopted. Why is that? Why do I do that to myself? But I do.

But once I move past it's the other worries, will we still have time for the boys? Will we still have patience for them? Will they understand a new baby coming into the family? Is this the right time?

So we will let you know what comes of it and when it becomes official. We would appreciate any and all prayers sent our way! Right now I'm kind of hoping Jesus takes the wheel on this one because frankly I'm driving blind!