15 reasons Why I'm Annoying

So as I was thinking about some of my good and bad traits this week I annoyingly started focusing on my...well...more annoying habits.

I thought I would share the top 15 in hopes that I crack some of these habits. Even though I probably won't.

Don't worry, it's not a pity party. I even asked my lovely husband to help me. Of course he wisely thought it was a trap, which it totally wasn't. Even thought he was a little too quick to name some of these off....

Here we go:

1. I interrupt people. All the time, especially on the phone. I have a strong suspicion this is because I'm slightly ADD. Also because I'm super impatient and the filter from my brain to my mouth that is supposed to be changed out every 10 years has been missing for some time. Bottom line: I suck at all things polite.

2. Every time I start a blog or sentence I want to start it with "So". "So we went to the zoo this weekend." or "So I woke up today." Annoying. SO annoying. *See the start of this blog*

3. I am loud. REALLY LOUD. I listen to the TV loud too. It just creeps up slowly until someone has to do an intervention on me and make me turn it down. I also have hearing loss. No, seriously I really do! Ask my husband, I remind him every day. Sadly I'm about 99.9% sure my hearing loss has little to do with it. Won't stop me from blaming it though. Ever.

4. I always  have a story that probably relates to what you are saying. And due to the previously mentioned missing filter I'm probably going to tell you that story in long detail. Then half way through I'm going to realize how annoying me telling you this really long story probably is, so I'll go super fast and leave half of it out to where by the end of it you are not only annoyed but completely lost.

5. I go on tangents. In the middle of a story I'll go on a tangent about another story. "So I talked to my mom at the park today and she said...Oh I forgot the park has the new swings in now! Yeah it was really fun and we saw Janelleybean. Did you know she had her baby? Anyways my mom said that she was thinking of a new car. By the way we got a new blender today! Do you know what the baby's name was?"

6. I forget words. Every day words. I literally had to use the thesaurus to think of the word conceited in the Valentines Day post.  It's like they are right there but I can't get at them. While I'm convinced these are signs that I have a very rare and deadly disease my mom told me it's yet another awesome genetic trait I get from her. That goes right up there with the love handles that never goes away.

7. I cuss. I try not to. No. I really %&$ing do. If you are offended by my everyday language I highly suggest you do not ever get around me while I'm drinking. Rum and Coke is the worst, but wine triggers this as %^$ing well. Oh and stress. Some people stress eat, I stress cuss...while eatting.

8. I chew with my mouth open more times than I'll admit. And if that grosses you out you should hear me smack. And slurp. I can slurp with the best of them...or should I say worst.

9. I itch my throat when I sleep with a certain noise in the back of my throat. It's totally sexy and really turns my husband on. Just kidding. He really hates it. Really really really hates it. Another trait from mom. We are a sexy group.

10. I use way too much punctuation. Every time I use an exclamation point I want to use two. When I use two I want to use three. We all get it Natalie. You are loud and over-emotional. You also have this habit of talking in third person...

11. Speaking of over-emotional, I am. I have a really quick temper over really stupid things. "WHAT!? You drank the last pop Keith!? What the &*$#!?!" I also cry when I get over-emotional and stressed. If you were at my wedding you wouldn't be shocked at all by this. I was balling and heaving the whole time....and cussing...while shoving cake in my face.

12. I can't stand awkward silences. More like I'm deathly afraid of them. I try to fill up every tiny space of silence thinking that it could be an awkward silence (the horror!). Because of this I end up talking at the same time as the other person because they are normal and take breathes in between sentences and I'm not so I think it's an awkward silence. I'm really really bad about this with my kids' birthparents. They probably wonder if I ever shut up. I do! I mean, I do sleep.

13. When I get an idea in my head I immediately go full steam on into such idea until I'm done with it then it is either forever forgotten in never never land or during rare times they actually play out. It's not odd for me to call Keith and want to discuss going to Ireland then follow that up with emails and more phone calls, then ending in nothing. I don't mess around and procrastinate with things I'm excited about. Which would be a good thing if it wasn't so darned annoying!!!***(see the three exclamation points? I told you!)

14. I am a horrible mail-er. Once my aunt left some makeup at my house and wanted me to mail it to her. I of course said "no biggie!" and promptly set out to mail it...3 months later.

15. I never quite know when to leave. My worst fear...well besides awkward silences, is to be "that guy" that doesn't leave when it's obvious the party's over and you are no longer funny or entertaining. You would think that would mean I leave early huh? No, I stick around. Then I realize I might have over stayed my welcome so I quickly use a lame excuse and scram where people are actually startled at the sudden turn of events. I think 9 times out of 10 they actually want me to stay, but man...I mean sometimes a girl can't take a hint.

So all of you crazy people who actually want to be my friend. This is a warning.

Don't come crying to me when I am still at your house at 3 am and telling the story that will never end while cussing up a storm and smacking on some ice cream.

Let's face it...I'd change, but I'm just too lazy and frankly too dense to even notice until after I have done went and already annoyed the town.


But hey - I can do a mean cake. So you must love me. Or at least pretend to, so I can do a kicking cake for you. Either way I'm cool with it. Just don't say I never warned you.