Patience is not my virtue. Not even a little.

I promised to keep you all updated on our adoption...well this a part of those finer things in adoption that make you want to grip your hair and rip a few chunks out. Boring, frustrating stuff that I promised to share when it happens. Maybe that way you'll know why we have very little hair, are quite fat, and a face full of acne when our kids finally come to us. Stress Eating + Hair Pulling + Zits + Eye Twitching. We will be two very sexy creatures. I'm sure when we meet the birthparents, they will hold up our profile and think...who the heck are these people!? Sheesh they must be REALLY photogenic. What the heck happened to them!?

So.

I am not a patient person. God must have missed that little ingredient when making me. I don't like to wait, I don't like to take my time. I rush and obsess and NOW NOW NOW. I drive too fast, I hate stop lights, the microwave is too slow, can't stand waiting to boil water, texting is too slow....you get the picture.

That being said....after sending in our adoption application on June 4th, rushing around to finish it quickly so we can hurry up and wait, I was just a little impatient to hear back. Then, being told we would be contacted by a social worker in a week or two, and one month later still have no idea when we will be able to schedule our stinking homestudy update.......I'm SICK OF IT!

I mean come on....two weeks...okay a little annoying but passable....three weeks I was fully annoyed but trying to be chipper. A month and I'm pissed.

I called today and basically it's still in financial review (something that is normal and part of the process despite the heart attack I had just then). Supposedly if something was wrong with the file they would have contacted me. So it's all normal. One month later. Oh did I mention that the social worker said "We should be able to schedule you for July when I receive your packet or we might be able to fit you in to September." THEN it's another 6 MORE weeks to get "approved-approved". So we are potentially talking October here to even see our by-that-time-not-so-pretty faces in the books.

Oh and the program administrator who we have been in contact with? I guess she has been and is on vacation for what is now a week and a half. Okay I'm cool with that but it's called an OUT OF OFFICE notification! She will be back Thursday. I will be calling Thursday at 10am.

Okay I'm done venting. I'm still pissed but it would probably be a good idea to NOT show my beotchy side to the people that I am supposed to convince that we will be good parents to. So it's a very delicate "trying to keep that nasty person in the closet that wants strangle someone quiet though she is beating the door down" dance.

DEEP SIGH.

Deeper Sign.

Counting to ten.

Singing NI-HAI-KAI-LAN's "Calm...Calm...DOWN" song in my head.

Realizing I am using a 2 year old's preschool show's calming technique.

Trying to be embarrassed about that but still too mad.

Stupid preschool technique isn't working.

I need a drink.

Then for the love of everything holy please do not let me near a phone or email. Drunk-messaging the adoption administrator would most definitely NOT be a good idea.




P.s. And I know one of you really really want to comment right now about how God's timing is perfect and "our" baby will come when the time is right. You are so right. But. Between you, me, and this hammer I have in my hand right now I would suggest refraining until I am in the right frame of mind to remind me of this. You know...the day AFTER we are placed with a child.