"The Poop" Incident

Well this is it....the famed "The Poop" Incident.

One of the most if not most embarrassing moment of my life. So far. Oh man do I hope it's for the rest of my life. It's not as long of a story as other incidents, but this holds more of a punch.

Though the fist fight at Chick-Fil-A last week could maybe be up there as far as "punches" go. That is now the "Chick-Fil-A" Incident. But that's for another post...

So..."The Poop" Incident.

It all started with my lovely friend, Vanerellian (pronounced van-er-ell-ee-ahn). Obviously I'm using her real name here. She said she would watch my kids for me while my *old* daycare was out. Again. So she was being a doll and agreed to watch my lovely baby (Lil'Guy) and terrible horrible no good but oh so cute two year old (Lil'Dude) all day.

Well needless to say, this was fairly close to the phone incident. So I was a little bit "on edge" already. I drop them off at 8, and things are going ok. I'm relaxing, I'm working, I'm thinking that maybe I was just being paranoid. Then I get a call. It's, oh, 1pm or so. It's Vanerellian.

"Yeah...um....Natalie? Okay...so...um....I put Lil'Dude to nap. I thought he had laid down so I let him be. Then..um...I went to check on him and he somehow.....well he wasn't sleeping..."

Wait for it.....wait for it.

"he pooped on the floor in my daughter's room, dug it in her rug with a toy, then he pee'd on my daughters books."

Oh. My. God.

I'm sorry. Did I catch that right??

You say he did WHAT!?!

Pooped on the floor. Then DUG IT IN!? Oh, and if that isn't bad enough he tops it off he pee's on her books. Nice.

Oh and this boy is still in diapers. He had to poop in the diaper, take it off, then put it on the floor. #$*&!!! Okay I take that back, he could've taken the diaper off, then pooped.

So I freak out, then rush over there. Thinking that my kid just might be a crazy person. Who plays with his own poop. With a tow truck.

Luckily Vanerellian is the sweetest thing on God's green earth, along with Janelleybean. She was very, very nice about it. But, just in case I wasn't embarrassed enough....

I start bawling. Like snot-running-down-your-nose-faster-than-you-can-wipe-it bawling. Heaving. Sobbing. Freaking the F out. In front of poor Vanerellian. I am freaking out about Lil'Dude, and telling her how I just can't take it anymore, and how I just have no idea what to do. Poor Vanerellian is like "Okay crazy person, just don't frighten her and maybe she'll go away." Sadly I think I sat there for 15 minutes like that. Sobbing.


 And for some unknown reason Vanerellian is also now one of my best friends. I either am just darned lucky or I'm so amazing that these amazing friends just flock to me.

I mean, not to toot my own horn, but I do always lose at the slots...sooooo....

Now you have it. The two most embarrasing moments of (hopefully) my parenting life.