How to gain 10 lbs on Christmas

So a good friend of mine was talking about her diet and how she'll try to stick with it even on Christmas!! 


First of all, I applaud her will power. Wow. Her will power's gotta be like a mack truck. Seriously. I mean...Christmas!? Comparatively my will power is less than a Geo Metro. Not even a cool  "ultra-urban" electric car. Nope.

It's an electric scooter will power. Keep reading. You'll see.

I hear "Christmas" and start hyperventilating while planning all the fattening foods I can possibly gorge into my mouth in 24 hours. The most horrible thing in my mind to happen on Christmas is for me to stick something into my mouth that is either not fattening and not horrible for me, thereby wasting valuable space in my tummy, or to run out before I'm full.

I may or may not have issues.

Though I am pretty sure that was well known well before this post, no?

Here is my menu for Christmas:

Breakfast:
- Santa's Candy (Swedish Fish, Reese's trees, Kit Kat) What a great guy he is to know all our favorites.
- Breakfast Sausage & Egg Casserole
- Monkey Bread (Cinnamon Pull-a-part Bread)
- Mimosa's (that's right baby!)

Lunch / Snack:
- Keith's Hummus (Roasted Red Pepper & Garlic) & Pita Chips / Pitas
- Veggie Tray (thrown in there due to guilt from all that candy...oh and it has ranch dip...mmmm...ranch)
- Fruit / Nuts
- I'm not gonna lie probably a second or third does of Santa's Candy

Dinner:
- Mushroom Stuffed Beef Tenderloin (oh and it has bacon. Bacon!)
- Some kind of green salad (send me recipes if you have a good homemade one)
- Broccoli & Pearl Onion Casserole
- Mashed Potatoes & Rosemary Gravy (made from Tenderloin)
- Tiramisu Cheesecake
- Wine, lots of wine, that way we don't have to think of what Christmas cost this year.

See? I told you. I can practically see myself getting fatter as I post this. And it's so deliciously great.

I say shame on you, you dieters out there thinking you don't have to blow it during Christmas.
Shame. On. You.

And don't even  think of shoving this post in my face when I'm not able to fit into anything the day after.

*sigh* I'm sure my guilt will be enough punishment.

But until then....


P.s. Feel free to ask for any of the above recipes if you like. I'll gladly share them with anyone.


P.s.s. Dedicated to my lovely friend: Mrs Vampirishikakaka.