We Got Another Thing Brewing

No no, it's not more beer or wine so just hold your horses.

It is however 'fermenting' . Well okay so by 'fermenting' I mean we have just started talking about it. Okay so that was lame, but cute right? No?

So we are thinking about starting another adoption. We have always known we want three kids. Well technically I want four kids but Brewerman wants to stick with three. I figure we'll see how life turns out and if we end up with five I will laugh hysterically.

Anyways, we were all content and happy to wait until Lil'Dude went to Kindergarten. We figured we will just enjoy the boys and hopefully it will help with daycare costs if he's in school and what not. I didn't even have a touch of baby fever. Or Beiber fever. I kinda hate that guy.

Basically the point is we are very happy and very content with the two kids we have. I love these guys and yes they do keep me very busy. Then we had a situation come up out of the blue. We knew it was a long shot and honestly we have had quite a few of these come up since Christopher and they never pan out.

But this was different because immediately after it didn't happen, I got hit with a major dose of baby fever. Major. 200 mg shot to the heart.

You're too late...you give love a bad name. *bad name*

But I'm scared of having another child. Terrified. Mainly it is financials. We aren't poor, but we aren't rich. With daycare costs for a third, are we going to be strapped? Will we take away from the boys? What if things "come up" like they always do. I know we can pay them but is it worth it if we have to take from the "fun stuff" like vacations, family outings, etc?

Are we selfish for even thinking of adopting a child and not being able to give them what some other families can like yearly trips to Disney, the best and newest clothes, etc. Doesn't a birthmom deserve to have a family that can do all that? Are they going to be disappointed in us that we can't? Again, our kids won't need for anything but sometimes I wonder...do we do enough? And yes, I feel like I hold us to a higher standard because our kids are adopted. Why is that? Why do I do that to myself? But I do.

But once I move past it's the other worries, will we still have time for the boys? Will we still have patience for them? Will they understand a new baby coming into the family? Is this the right time?

So we will let you know what comes of it and when it becomes official. We would appreciate any and all prayers sent our way! Right now I'm kind of hoping Jesus takes the wheel on this one because frankly I'm driving blind!