Dear People Who Use the Term: FML

This post isn't directed to those who complain. Not even those that have a few pity parties. Heck, didn't I just have one here and here, oh and here?

This is directed toward all those people who use the term: FML. You know them, they are the same ones that try to one-up your pain with their own more-painful happenings.

Okay, to the guy that just lost his 4 children and wife due to a drunk driver? By all means, say FML. You can paint the term on your back and walk around naked with it if you would like and if it will help. Ignore me from this point on. I admire you just for being able to wake up and walk to the kitchen this morning.

But, have you ever been telling a story, a deep painful thing that has happened to you in your life, and someone pops in with a one-up story about something they went through that was "way" harder than your pain. Your gut reaction is to roll your eyes and do a mortal-kombat style uppercut to their chin....Finish Him...oh 90's Nintendo).  Probably because this person is known to do this. They most likely also post whiny things daily and end said posts with FML.

It's the "my pain is bigger than your pain" thinking. The "my life is so hard". Oh FML!

I can't stand this thinking. It's one thing to have a bad day, or complain because something is going on in your life. It's another to focus all your attention on the negative, and even go as far as to discount someone else's pain to make yours seem worse. And it's another to use the turn FML. Really? F--- your life?! Your LIFE?

You think YOUR pain is bad?! Your car broke down? You have nothing to wear? You have no "real" friends? Your job stinks? Well...

I've been through some painful crap too in my life.

I went through years of infertility. That sucked.

Went through adoption where we had a few dozen "opportunities" fall through. That sucked.

I have a child with pretty severe ADHD and requires a lot of energy to parent. That sucks at times.
*Do I have to add the "I love my kid" fine print here? Nah, it's my blog, if you don't think I love my kid, this is your first post here.*

I had to figure out a way to save up $20,000, three times, for three adoptions. That suckS.

I am not a size 6. If I even think of butter I gain 5 lbs. That sucks.

I have ugly feet. That sucks.

My house lost a lot of it's value due to the economy. That sucks.

I work full time and raise two kids. Okay that doesn't suck, I actually like that part.

BUT

My dryer is going out. Oh wait...nevermind...it's out.

I have 8 flies flying around my head at this very moment.

I now have wrinkles around my eyes.

Related note: I am less than one year from turning 30.

My car is dirty and needs washed which means I need to wash it or try to convince my kids it's fun to wash mommy's car.

I need to buy the kids new clothes because they keep gaining sizes like it's going out of style.

In the meantime, my clothes are actually going out of style. I need new clothes. Yet all my moola is saving for el bebe numero tres.

I took four years of spanish and can't remember a darn thing.

I really want another cup of coffee but can't because then I will become addicted to caffeine again.

My leg scratches. I think I got a mosquito bite last night.

My car is out of gas, like it always is.

I'm supposed to be making a grocery list right now, which means I still need to make my grocery list.

Which means I need to go grocery shopping.

I don't have a boat.

I really want a boat.

It's hot outside. No, like really hot. I know it's Texas and in the summer but it's really hot!

I still haven't heard from the social worker. Rude. I mean, she can call me on a Saturday morning right?

I don't have jelly bellies in my mouth right now.

My family isn't here to make a "that's what she said" joke right now.

I live with three, particularly gross, boys.

I am not on a boat this very instant.

I need to clean my house again.


My tomatoes aren't growing.

I don't have granite countertops.

I have a wedgie.

I have a double chin.

My house phones stopped working. I need new house phones.

My cell phone regularly hangs up on people because I have a fat cheek.

My kids are playing with marbles right now. Seriously. Marbles.

I really need another cup of coffee.

My sunglasses broke a week ago.

And it's hot. And super sunny. I need sunglasses.

And I'm still not on a boat.

Dang. There's another fly!

Both of our cars need a stinking inspection.

I have 'man hands'.

I have hearing loss.

My family doesn't believe me about said hearing loss, despite the doctors TELLING THEM, and are laughing out loud at me right now.

My siblings never did anything and I always had to do everything. 


My nickname growing up was "Nat the Fat".

I was a middle child.

STOP CALLING ME CINDERELLA MOM AND DAD!! 

My kids just broke another one of my things.

My voice is weird.

My blog keeps highlighting random words white and I can't figure out how to keep it from doing that. It's really annoying.

I'm watching food network now and don't live near a drive in, diner, OR dive. 

I survived a pretty nasty case of girls-bullying-other-girls in junior high. 

Pretty sure I have an in-grown toe nail right now.

I need a haircut.

I can't ever have a baby biologically. Game. Set. Match. 



But what game? Who the hell wins? No one. It's a game of "who life sucks more"? Because that's......fun?

Well this same chick was raised in a middle class lifestyle with over-the-top loving parents that raised me right, never really had to want for much, and then found and married the love of her life, has a great marriage, each of us has stable and pretty good jobs, then adopted two amazing children with relatively low drama. I also over-use run-on sentences.

What a hard life I have had. Boy I have really had it rough.

Psh.

I went through some crap, yes, just as I am sure X,Y,Z went through some crap. It's all crap, we all have it. We all have some part of our life that is easy, and some that is hard. You have a child that somehow survived   to the age of two and not die of SIDS? Consider yourself lucky. You have a roof over your head? Lucky. You don't suffer from a terminal illness? Lucky. You can eat pizza daily and never gain weight? I might hate you.

You want a match with someone to see whose life is harder? You will always lose. There is always someone that has it harder than you.

Lets go ask that homeless veteran down the way that suffers through major PTSD and yet is still aware enough to know that he is harmful to others and thus chooses a life on the street where he won't hurt someone.

You will lose. Your life is awesome. If you post another post on Facebook with FML at the end of it, I am going to reach across the plasmosphere that is the internet and b-slap you.

Seriously. Stop.

Take a moment and think of every thing you have in your life, only positives. Look around and SEE. Then the next time someone tells a story of the suffering they have been through, just give them a hug and allow them to vent. If you can relate and want to share, please do. But it's okay if you don't relate, don't try to figure out a way that you do, they don't WANT you to be able to relate, they don't want that for you. They just want to complain a little, for a little while.

And seriously if someone, especially someone that is a parent, says FML one more time I might hurt someone. And by someone I mean them. By hurt I mean maim. By maim I mean slap. By slap I mean take my hand and quickly bring it to their face and swinging through and not stopping for full force impact. By full force impact I mean really hard. By hand I mean the object at the end of my arm with five things sticking out.

It's the one that looks like a man's hand.


P.s. This is just a vent, really if you are my friend and reading this then most likely you are not this person. I have some pretty darned awesome friends.