Dear Lil'Dude:
It's been 4 years since I first met you. I'll never forget those wild days before that day. Of the back and forth. Of the wanting...the waiting, and oh lots of praying. There were tears, laughter, and wild trips to Babies R Us with my mom and sister screaming at me and arguing with me about what to buy and not buy via the phone.
It's been 4 years since we made that second trip 3 hours away to pick you up just riding on prayer and hope. I remember saying rosary after rosary just pleading with God. Until we let all our fears go and decided to let God lead the way. We had the honor of meeting your birthmom and birthdad that day. It wasn't the easiest way. No it was hard to be there during that emotional time for them. Because it was emotional, and very hard for them. Never forget that. Never forget that it was hard for them because they loved you so much.
Did you know that we all came up with your middle name ourselves? It's not common, as a matter of fact I'm pretty sure we made it up. Some people didn't get it, but I don't care. I love it. They love it. We all love you.
How do I describe the first moment I saw you? Awe would be one way. Panic, excitement, love, hope, and a lil bit of shock. Okay a lot of shock. I mean you were so tiny, and perfect. You had hair everywhere, and I adored that. I loved your tiny little feet, which even then weren't so tiny. Your hands, your little belly.
Then you looked at me. And we locked eyes. You looked right at me. I couldn't even cry I was so engrossed. You see, I was so terrified that you wouldn't want me, you wouldn't know me, I'd be foreign to you and you would be scared. That I would never be good enough for you. That I'd be your fake mom. Then you looked at me like you knew me. You even turned your little head to keep looking at me. I was so happy.
Then you grew up. I loved you then, and I love you with every fiber of my being now. Even when I'm so tired I could fall dead on my feet, I still never once lose the awe that overwhelmed me at being your mom. Mom. I prayed to become a mom. But who would have known that God would have taken that, multipled it by 1000 and made me a mom to you. Because you are unique, special, and perfect in every way.
I hope I live up to being your mom too. I promise I will never stop loving you, no matter what you grow up to be or do. I will never, ever, stop being proud of you. Because you just aren't my son in name. You will always be my son in my heart and soul. God made us family. And family we will forever be.
I love you.
Mom
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Chick-Fil-A Incident
Today we'll be taking a trip down my bumpy and sometimes large portions missing memory lane....
to the Chick-Fil-A Incident.
It started where all things horrible start...with a dentist appointment. Both the kids had one that morning and they did phenomenal, no cavities, but of course we got news that they will probably both need braces. Needless to say we just went ahead and arranged for every other paycheck to transfer there until they are 18.
So to celebrate the kid's fabulous behavior I am taking them to Chick-Fil-A! Excitement! Laughter! Chicken Nuggets!!
We order and semi-eat until they contain it any longer, they must go to play in the play area. Lil'Dude rushes into the play area and Lil'Guy follows, then quickly realizes I'm not there so runs back to me. Then cries because he wants to play, then cries because he is too scared. I end up bribing him to stay with me with Lil'Dude's leftover nuggets.
Then I notice beside me there is a table of moms. Not just any moms. Frisco moms. Very high-end moms with their made-to-order 2 kids all 2 years apart exactly and their 400$ strollers. I'm talking at least 10 of these high priced mommas.
It's all going fine until I hear a kid screaming. Most parents would think "Uh oh, I wonder what happened". I think "Lil'Dude."
Well the kid runs out of the play area screaming at the top of his lungs. I remain calm and am about to go check when another mom comes out of the play area obviously looking around, I see her spot Christopher (thinking "okay so that must be the mom"), then say to me "Uhhh those two were both fighting" (while pumping her fists like fist fighting). I dumbly stare and say "fist fighting?". Yup.
Now the other screaming kid is probably 5 - 6 years old and about twice the size of Lil'Dude. So I am thinking "really Lil'Dude!?" and I go in there. He's in the car on top of the play area.
I admit...my first thought was "Obviously the play car wasn't big enough for both of them". *Snicker.*
After 5 minutes of red-faced-seriously-mad-whispering to get him out of the play car and down to the floor, I tell him he is to apologize and we are going home. He looks at me like "whatever" then goes and apologizes.
The other kid was still wailing when Lil'Dude went up to him and apologized, of course he didn't say a word and his mom didn't have him apologize back. Ugh. C'mon Lil'Dude, you can put up a performance like that, at least PRETEND that it hurt you too. Oh and the wailing 6 year old's mom? One of the table-o-moms. I'd tell you it was the highlighted obviously-not-real-blond one but that wouldn't narrow it down much. Anyways, now the whole table is looking at me with dirty looks as the kid that's twice the size of Lil'Dude keeps sobbing and screaming because they BOTH fought EACH OTHER.
Well. That changes the game.
Now I'll admit Lil'Dude was in the wrong. But it takes two to rumble. Don't you be blaming me because your kid can't hold up his own. I give them back a look that clearly tells them where they can put their high dollar lipsticked mouths, tell the kids they aren't getting ice cream (which only THEN makes Lil'Dude mad and cry). I can see them all turn their matching-yoga-outfitted bodies to me as I leave and I "accidentally" may or may not have dropped something on the ground and had to bend over to get it. Right when they turned their heads.
"Oops."
Okay but really. What 3 year old gets into a fist fight!? How do they even know how to do that!? And why the HECK couldn't he have at least squeezed out a tear?? Ah well...it's never boring I'll tell you that.
to the Chick-Fil-A Incident.
It started where all things horrible start...with a dentist appointment. Both the kids had one that morning and they did phenomenal, no cavities, but of course we got news that they will probably both need braces. Needless to say we just went ahead and arranged for every other paycheck to transfer there until they are 18.
So to celebrate the kid's fabulous behavior I am taking them to Chick-Fil-A! Excitement! Laughter! Chicken Nuggets!!
We order and semi-eat until they contain it any longer, they must go to play in the play area. Lil'Dude rushes into the play area and Lil'Guy follows, then quickly realizes I'm not there so runs back to me. Then cries because he wants to play, then cries because he is too scared. I end up bribing him to stay with me with Lil'Dude's leftover nuggets.
Then I notice beside me there is a table of moms. Not just any moms. Frisco moms. Very high-end moms with their made-to-order 2 kids all 2 years apart exactly and their 400$ strollers. I'm talking at least 10 of these high priced mommas.
It's all going fine until I hear a kid screaming. Most parents would think "Uh oh, I wonder what happened". I think "Lil'Dude."
Well the kid runs out of the play area screaming at the top of his lungs. I remain calm and am about to go check when another mom comes out of the play area obviously looking around, I see her spot Christopher (thinking "okay so that must be the mom"), then say to me "Uhhh those two were both fighting" (while pumping her fists like fist fighting). I dumbly stare and say "fist fighting?". Yup.
Now the other screaming kid is probably 5 - 6 years old and about twice the size of Lil'Dude. So I am thinking "really Lil'Dude!?" and I go in there. He's in the car on top of the play area.
I admit...my first thought was "Obviously the play car wasn't big enough for both of them". *Snicker.*
After 5 minutes of red-faced-seriously-mad-whispering to get him out of the play car and down to the floor, I tell him he is to apologize and we are going home. He looks at me like "whatever" then goes and apologizes.
The other kid was still wailing when Lil'Dude went up to him and apologized, of course he didn't say a word and his mom didn't have him apologize back. Ugh. C'mon Lil'Dude, you can put up a performance like that, at least PRETEND that it hurt you too. Oh and the wailing 6 year old's mom? One of the table-o-moms. I'd tell you it was the highlighted obviously-not-real-blond one but that wouldn't narrow it down much. Anyways, now the whole table is looking at me with dirty looks as the kid that's twice the size of Lil'Dude keeps sobbing and screaming because they BOTH fought EACH OTHER.
Well. That changes the game.
Now I'll admit Lil'Dude was in the wrong. But it takes two to rumble. Don't you be blaming me because your kid can't hold up his own. I give them back a look that clearly tells them where they can put their high dollar lipsticked mouths, tell the kids they aren't getting ice cream (which only THEN makes Lil'Dude mad and cry). I can see them all turn their matching-yoga-outfitted bodies to me as I leave and I "accidentally" may or may not have dropped something on the ground and had to bend over to get it. Right when they turned their heads.
"Oops."
Okay but really. What 3 year old gets into a fist fight!? How do they even know how to do that!? And why the HECK couldn't he have at least squeezed out a tear?? Ah well...it's never boring I'll tell you that.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
It's Official. I'm a mom to a 4 year old.
So today is the day Lil'Dude turns 4. What in the heck is up with that!? I mean 4 just sounds so old. I'm going to be a mess at 5. 5 is just too old to even go there right now.
Ahhhh good old 4. He is getting so much more conversational. He comes up with some of the funniest stuff, but my favorite phrase is "I love you sooo much mom". I can play games with Lil'Dude now....as long as he wins. I have a uber competitive child turns out. Wonder where he gets that from?
But now that he's 4 people can start saying things like "he is way too old to be acting that way" or "he is old enough to know better". And he's officially not a toddler. I officially skip the baby aisles in the store. Next year he'll be in preschool and that's a hop skip and a jump from Kindergarten. Way too soon. Yet not soon enough since he's getting smarter by the day.
I love my little boy. He's so rowdy, has the personality the size of Texas. He's hilarious. He's handsome. He's one in a million. He never stops going. Ever. But then we don't have one bored moment in the past 4 years either thanks to this little boy. He loves cheese and baseball. He loves to snuggle. Grown out of his nap in the last month (wah!) but at the same he also is watching movies and giggling at the right points. He loves life and lives it to the fullest. Is the MOST curious little boy in the whole wide world.
Ah Lil'Dude. You have my heart. You bless us everyday, even when you are being ultra crazy hyper and giggly.
In about 5 days it will be the 4th anniversary of me meeting him for the first time, which is always very emotional. I feel extremely lucky to be his mom but I also have a distinct awareness of how hard this must be for his birthparents. I truly feel blessed that they chose us to parent this fun loving child. He not only made us parents, but he showed me what the meaning of happiness is. And exhaustion. But mostly happiness. No matter how exhausted we are though, we are 110% content.
Time for another one? You just might be right...
Ahhhh good old 4. He is getting so much more conversational. He comes up with some of the funniest stuff, but my favorite phrase is "I love you sooo much mom". I can play games with Lil'Dude now....as long as he wins. I have a uber competitive child turns out. Wonder where he gets that from?
But now that he's 4 people can start saying things like "he is way too old to be acting that way" or "he is old enough to know better". And he's officially not a toddler. I officially skip the baby aisles in the store. Next year he'll be in preschool and that's a hop skip and a jump from Kindergarten. Way too soon. Yet not soon enough since he's getting smarter by the day.
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| My very first photo |
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| Aw my sweet hairy boy. |
I love my little boy. He's so rowdy, has the personality the size of Texas. He's hilarious. He's handsome. He's one in a million. He never stops going. Ever. But then we don't have one bored moment in the past 4 years either thanks to this little boy. He loves cheese and baseball. He loves to snuggle. Grown out of his nap in the last month (wah!) but at the same he also is watching movies and giggling at the right points. He loves life and lives it to the fullest. Is the MOST curious little boy in the whole wide world.
Ah Lil'Dude. You have my heart. You bless us everyday, even when you are being ultra crazy hyper and giggly.
In about 5 days it will be the 4th anniversary of me meeting him for the first time, which is always very emotional. I feel extremely lucky to be his mom but I also have a distinct awareness of how hard this must be for his birthparents. I truly feel blessed that they chose us to parent this fun loving child. He not only made us parents, but he showed me what the meaning of happiness is. And exhaustion. But mostly happiness. No matter how exhausted we are though, we are 110% content.
Time for another one? You just might be right...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
A Firetruck Party - Lil'Dude Style
So I've been a little MIA lately and after this post you'll know why! I've been busy planning Lil'Dude's Big Firetruck Birthday Party!!!
Saturday was the day of the party. He'll be 4 on Tuesday but until then I'm living in a blissful state of denial. So we won't talk about the birthday part...just the party. Until Tuesday that is, his actual birthday. When I'm sure I'll be a big crying mess. I mean 4 just sounds so old. Nope. I'm stopping talking now. I refuse to discuss it until then.
Not. Discussing.
In honor of Lil'Dude's Not-talking-about birthday we did a firetruck party. And since after last year's big baseball party we made the oh-so-strict rule that we are only doing a big party every other year, so we did a small party this year.
Psh. Yeah, like that was going to happen. I mean it's a Firetruck Party!! Who could resist not going all out with that. Especially when I called Aubrey Fire Dept and they said they will come out with a firetruck and ambulance to the party for FREE!!
After much planning, a little stress, and a whole lot of cake-making, the Firetruck party was a success! We had games, firetrucks, way too many cookies, and of course great friends. Lil'Dude told me he had so much fun, and he thought the whole thing was "amazing" (the new "word of the week")
So here's how it all went down...
Decorations:
We had the party at a clubhouse in our neighborhood that you can rent from the HOA. We learned the hard way that with people staying at our house during parties from out of town, we just can't fit that many people into our home. Plus then I have to clean. And organize. This room is perfect, close, and the firetruck could pull right up to the front, not blocking the street or having people worry about cars coming by.
Anywho, so for decorations I just got red and gold yellow tablecloths. There were 8 tables so 4 of them had toy firetrucks on them with little fireman spread around, and 4 had Bucket Centerpieces. I took black buckets, then filled them with Hot Tomales, Red Hots, Flaming Cheetos, and a bottle of water that my friend Jannelleybean made some labels for that said "Fire Extinguisher". Then I added Red and yellow tissue paper to resemble flames all around it. I was worried these wouldn't come together but they really did and I was so happy to have something unique there.
Food:
Since the party was at 11am we served French Bread Sandwiches and chips with Brewerman's yum-o salsa and cookies.
The cake I made and Lil'Dude specifically requested a "firetruck cake with a puppy dog and ladder". So that's what he got! He also wanted an ambulance cake with it but I pretty much laughed in his face when he said that and told him he was pushing his luck. Psh. Two cakes. Nice try kiddo.
I made him some flame cupcakes to go with it too because I was a little worried we wouldn't have enough cake. Like we have ever run out before...I know, but hey, they were cute! Oh and I threw in a little Lil'Dude Fireman for good nature.
Games:
We had a couple games planned in between lunch and firetruck time. The first of which was an obstacle course where they earned their fire hat and badge. This was a ball, the kids really got into it. They had to push the firetruck to the "house on fire" and save the baby doll inside. Then push it over to the tree and save the kitty in the tree. After which they got their badge!
After this all the kids got to customize their hats with stickers like some real fireman do! This was fun for the kids and I think they really got into it. After that we played a game of "pin the badge on the firedog" and Lil'Dude got it perfect in the first try! I even triple checked that he couldn't see! Crazy, but you know, he's a genius and obviously this game just showed everyone that this boy is going places.
Saturday was the day of the party. He'll be 4 on Tuesday but until then I'm living in a blissful state of denial. So we won't talk about the birthday part...just the party. Until Tuesday that is, his actual birthday. When I'm sure I'll be a big crying mess. I mean 4 just sounds so old. Nope. I'm stopping talking now. I refuse to discuss it until then.
Not. Discussing.
In honor of Lil'Dude's Not-talking-about birthday we did a firetruck party. And since after last year's big baseball party we made the oh-so-strict rule that we are only doing a big party every other year, so we did a small party this year.
Psh. Yeah, like that was going to happen. I mean it's a Firetruck Party!! Who could resist not going all out with that. Especially when I called Aubrey Fire Dept and they said they will come out with a firetruck and ambulance to the party for FREE!!
After much planning, a little stress, and a whole lot of cake-making, the Firetruck party was a success! We had games, firetrucks, way too many cookies, and of course great friends. Lil'Dude told me he had so much fun, and he thought the whole thing was "amazing" (the new "word of the week")
So here's how it all went down...
Decorations:
We had the party at a clubhouse in our neighborhood that you can rent from the HOA. We learned the hard way that with people staying at our house during parties from out of town, we just can't fit that many people into our home. Plus then I have to clean. And organize. This room is perfect, close, and the firetruck could pull right up to the front, not blocking the street or having people worry about cars coming by.
Anywho, so for decorations I just got red and gold yellow tablecloths. There were 8 tables so 4 of them had toy firetrucks on them with little fireman spread around, and 4 had Bucket Centerpieces. I took black buckets, then filled them with Hot Tomales, Red Hots, Flaming Cheetos, and a bottle of water that my friend Jannelleybean made some labels for that said "Fire Extinguisher". Then I added Red and yellow tissue paper to resemble flames all around it. I was worried these wouldn't come together but they really did and I was so happy to have something unique there.
Food:
Since the party was at 11am we served French Bread Sandwiches and chips with Brewerman's yum-o salsa and cookies.
 |
| Dannananer Sneaking food pre-party |
The cake I made and Lil'Dude specifically requested a "firetruck cake with a puppy dog and ladder". So that's what he got! He also wanted an ambulance cake with it but I pretty much laughed in his face when he said that and told him he was pushing his luck. Psh. Two cakes. Nice try kiddo.
I made him some flame cupcakes to go with it too because I was a little worried we wouldn't have enough cake. Like we have ever run out before...I know, but hey, they were cute! Oh and I threw in a little Lil'Dude Fireman for good nature.
 |
| Firetruck cake with cupcakes- All edible! |
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| Fondant Firedog and Fire-Lil'Dude |
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| Firetruck Cake |
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| Flaming Cupcakes |
Of course it only took a short 8 hours of just decorating but so worth it to see my son's face.
Games:
We had a couple games planned in between lunch and firetruck time. The first of which was an obstacle course where they earned their fire hat and badge. This was a ball, the kids really got into it. They had to push the firetruck to the "house on fire" and save the baby doll inside. Then push it over to the tree and save the kitty in the tree. After which they got their badge!
After this all the kids got to customize their hats with stickers like some real fireman do! This was fun for the kids and I think they really got into it. After that we played a game of "pin the badge on the firedog" and Lil'Dude got it perfect in the first try! I even triple checked that he couldn't see! Crazy, but you know, he's a genius and obviously this game just showed everyone that this boy is going places.
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| Saving the baby doll |
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| Birthday Boy saving the kitty |
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| Got it first try! |
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| Adding Stickers to his hat. |
Then the FIRE TRUCK CAME!! We see it coming...so all go to the doors to watch!
Then we see the firetruck turn on it's lights and sirens and it doesn't stop. It's going around the block! We are thinking "How cool is that!? They are letting the kids see it with the lights and sirens on!" Then it keeps going...and going...and going. Turns out they got a call right when they pulled in! What are the odds?
So after making all sorts of angry calls because someone would dare get hurt during my child's Firetruck party, we decide to open presents. Kidding of course, we totally understood and while we were bummed we got it. And hey - the kids got to see it with it's lights and sirens on! How cool is that!?
After opening presents, then me pushing each child 8 times around the entire building in the push firetruck and making fake siren noises and honking...then passing out on a chair from lack of being fit, we get a call! The firetruck is coming back!!
So they came back and it was amazing. Lil'Dude got to sit in the front seat, turn on the lights and the siren. Then he got to sit in the ambulance, look at all the cool gadgets, all the kids got to get in and all over the firetruck and ambulance. The fireman then went inside and put on all the fire equipment, the kids got to watch and after he was done he gave them high fives and they could go up and look. This was amazing because the kids learned to not be scared if something ever happened. It was the perfect ending to a great party.
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| The FIRETRUCK IS HERE! |
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| Turning on the siren |
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| Our Firetruckin' Fam |
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| Lil'Dude |
I'm so thankful to all our friends and family that were there. It was a ball to plan and I hope everyone had fun! Now to start planning Lil'Guy's football party for May....whew.
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