Horrifying

We had an extremely horrifying experience with my Lil'Guy this weekend. It still shakes me up when I think about it.

It all started Saturday night. About an hour after we put the two amigos to bed, we hear this gagging sound. We jump up thinking one of them is getting sick. I hear it again as we are right by the hall.

Then I start running and I hear Lil'Guy crying so rush into his room. He is dry heaving and I ask him if he feels like he is going to be sick and he says yes. I then lead him into the bathroom and stand him over the toilet. He is continually dry heaving and gagging and then he says,

"I have something in my mouth."

I wasn't sure what he meant at first and then he started getting scared, eyes wide and tears pouring scared, and screamed it again. At this point I turn to Brewerman and start screaming for him to help him, and that he is choking, not sick. At this point, Lil'Guy is throwing up into the toilet and he is crying / screaming and jumping back and forth to both feet. I am worried because he is acting like he is in PAIN, not just choking (which he was).

Brewerman starts doing the Heimlich on him and then Lil'Guy shoves his hand down his own throat to try to get the thing out, getting almost wrist deep. I am screaming at the top of my lungs for Brewerman to help him and I was about a half second from telling Lil'Guy to get his hand out of his mouth, that it will make it worse, when he pulls out what was in his throat.

It was this piece of metal (it's the spring to a plastic pants hanger that must have broken in his room):



Added toothbrush so you can see the size.

I about threw up. The damage that thing could have done scares me, if he swallowed it, if it would have gone deeper down his wind pipe. What if we hadn't been up and didn't hear him?? He was so scared, if we hadn't heard him or was asleep, he would have been all by himself and we would have never known it.

Okay now I am crying again.
Although I know you aren't supposed to put your hand down your throat if you are choking, we are lucky though because he has little hands...if Brewerman had tried he would have just pushed it down, and no heimlich was getting that thing out.

Finally Lil'Guy calmed down and my brave little guy went right back to bed and, after a discussion about playing with stuff and putting stuff in our mouth, he went back to sleep.

The funny thing is the hours or so after it happened, I could only think about what if something had happened...and all the things I DIDN'T do with him that day. Why didn't I take 5 minutes and play a game with them? Why didn't I kiss him one more time? Why didn't I tell him how amazing I think he is? Why?? It's irrational, because I tell them every day how much I love them and adore them, but I couldn't help those feelings that came rushing to me.

It was a horrifying experience. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to him. That little man-child and his brother are my whole world. Never seeing that smile...being asked to watch "injun turtles" for the 1,097th time that day, hearing him and his brother giggle in the playroom, watching him stand up and "perform" for all the kids by making them laugh like a mini comedian...I tell you that would have killed me.

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, and I can't imagine the pain of watching them suffer like that and not being able to help.

So today I am thankful. Thankful for his guardian angel for watching out for him, and thankful to have another day to spend with my Lil'Guy.

I took this picture a few hours before the incident. I can't imagine if this would have been the last picture I had of him. *tears starting again*:

And this picture the next day at a Rough Riders game. He got a foul ball and thought he was hot stuff: